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Monday, January 16, 2006

Hanging out the dirty laundry

I’m so glad it is Monday, now I can finally rest. The weekend’s been extremely busy, especially Saturday when our two families met for the first time. We finished the preparations just in time and the new and untried recipe for pea-soup was a big success. The two families made arrangements ‘behind our backs’ to get together and make a ‘cantate’. This has been a tradition in my family for ages at wedding parties, when the lives of the bride and groom are explained with songs, sketches and so on. It usually focuses on particularly embarrassing moments of each of the newlyweds’ pasts. Whether the events took place as they are described, is also completely beside the point.

Now the problem here is that my life is filled with unfortunate events that vary from peeing into the doctors’ face when I was a baby to destroying a complete apartment block’s plumbing when I was a child to allegations of Satanism when I was a teenager to a number of explosions when I was a bit older. And that’s just the tip of the top of the iceberg. Actually, I’m a bit worried that she-who-has-tickly-armpits may end the wedding a couple of hours after it started when she finds out. I know a relationship should be based on honesty, but I feel there’s something like being too honest. There’s no need to dig up the past.

What’s also worrying is that I caught my sister and my brother-in-law in our bedroom… taking pictures (what were you thinking about?) Apparently, they needed some photographic evidence, but I wonder what it was they were filming. Our bedroom at the moment was a complete mess. It usually is, but this time we had a valid excuse: because of the many people we had to cram into the living room, we had to throw out stuff that ended into our bedroom. And luckily, we put our dirty underwear into the laundry bin.

But there were some other very private items we didn’t conceal that carefully, of which massage-oil was the most innocent. So now were terrified that 200+ close friends, colleagues and relatives will find out what we do in the bedroom apart from sleeping and cuddling our teddy bear (we share one).

So in the worst case scenario, by the end of my wedding day, I’ll have no more wife, no more friends, no more job and my family won’t ever see me again. It will indeed be an unforgettable day!

Posted by Bart at 7:34 PM
Categories: Miscellaneous

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