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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

It’s the season to be sneezy…

3 days and panicking to day ‘M’

This morning I woke up with tears in my eyes. Not that I had an emotional break-down with the wedding in sight. Nope, it was just my good old allergy again. I’ve been allergic since I was a kid, courtesy of the pharmaceutical plant right next to our door where my father worked. We’re talking about the days when factories could still blow tonnes of sulphur in the air so that the pine trees all had yellow dust on their needles.

So when I was a teenager, I spent one half of the year sniffing and sneezing because of allergies, and the other half because of a continuous series of colds. My nose has more of a decorative function than any respiratory one. It streamlines my face, that’s all. And it produces odd noises, varying from a record-breaking 140 decibel 348 km/h sneeze that will break all windows within a 500 meter radius, to a low, loud, rumbling noise that is often mixed up with the sound of an ocean steamer entering the harbour when I blow my nose. The strangest noise it ever produced was a loud and shrill peep whenever I was just about to fall asleep. I spent half a night looking for the mouse that climbed on my pillow before I realised it was my own head toying with my mind. The least popular function of my nose is its night-long snoring capability, which almost made me loose a future wife last night.

This morning, it was not just the nose that was running harder than a Cheetah on amphetamines with its tail on fire. My eyes were playing Niagara too. It took me three pills to stop both floods, but then I got quite dizzy, which in turn lead to some interesting situations when I drove on the ring way around Antwerp this afternoon.

If this happens again on Saturday, I have the choice between option a) snot all over my costume and waste my mascara with a stream of non-emotional tears, or option b) get all drugged up and play zombie all day.

Wedding? What wedding?

Posted by Bart at 8:48 PM
Categories: Miscellaneous


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