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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Oil Shortage

Faithful readers of this weblog will know that it’s been quite the year. First we had to organise the wedding, and halfway through preparations we were told that the place where we were going to organise the wedding party got sold. So we had to look for a new place and organise (and pay) much more than expected. Then in February we were told that the apartment building we were living in was going to be sold, so we had to look for a new place. We decided we wanted to buy something, and luckily we quickly found a nice house. So we barely got off the plane from our honeymoon to Ecuador before we had to start redecorating the place, which included some re-plastering half the dining room. But finally, last weekend we could move to our new home.

And that was it. No more to do for the rest of the year, apart from redecorating the occasional room if and when we felt like it. No more pressure. No more major projects.

So yesterday she-who-makes-the-streets-unsafe-in-her-Nissan-Micra took her little car to the garage, for a routine check-up and small maintenance. This included changing the oil, and it was there and then that the mechanic noticed that the oil filter needed to be changed too. So he changed it and sent my wife merrily along her merry way to check upon our mare that – as you all know – is staying with a handsome yet riper gentleman (stallion) to get pregnant. Until she noticed that the oil warning light blinked. She quickly pulled over and called the mechanic. Says this Galactic-Class idiot: ‘No problem madam, just come back and we’ll fix it’.

For those who are not aware of the exact problem: NEVER, EVER drive a car when you discovered it has an oil problem, because your engine NEEDS oil like you need air to breathe. Without any oil, the pistons in the engine will block, or rather fuse with the rest of your motor. And that’s exactly what happened. So end of car, game over.

So now my wife is going to sue the garage, and we are temporarily out of car. Unfortunately, we are also temporarily out of money, since we already paid for a wedding with five million guests and for a luxury villa with five bedrooms, a lush garden and room for scores of ponies.

Maybe we can earn some extra money with our new circus act: my wife is so stressed up from all these recent events that she can walk straight up a wall and dance on the ceiling. We’re also available for business parties!

Posted by Bart at 9:20 PM
Edited on: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 8:31 PM
Categories: Miscellaneous


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