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Monday, January 22, 2007

You Haul 16 Tonnes

Last Saturday, I decided to clean the rubbish out of our garden and bring it to the container park. Because of the refurbishing of the dining room (that we don’t use to dine) and our bedroom, and the reparation of the roof of the annex, we had a number of piles of various types of debris in the garden.

First the unsuspecting visitor would stumble upon a mighty hill of wooden beams, planks, etc. some of which were pierced by huge nails. Then there would be various smaller heaps of plastic, wiring, ceiling tiles, etc. Scaling these, the weary traveller would see the mighty peaks of the Mount Plaster mountain range, which stretches along the concrete garden enclosure and dominates the garden. The brave explorer who overcomes the dizzying heights and barren wastelands of these mighty ridges will see the dark, foreboding heights of Mount Pungent at the far end of our garden. Mount Pungent was formed billions of years a couple of months ago when we cleaned the roof. It consists of a mixture of silt, pebbles and huge amounts of rotten organic matter, hence its name.

In September I attacked Mount Plaster for the first time. The problem is that I couldn’t use a wheelbarrow because there are two S-curves in our house that I have to get around, which is impossible without throwing everything out of the wheelbarrow. So I shovelled everything into big plastic boxes that I have to carry through the garden, then the small hallway in the back of the house, the kitchen, the dining room and the hallway, out through the front garden where I can finally dump my load in the trunk of our car. However, there was a lot of wind on Saturday so the doors of these various rooms kept slamming shut. That meant that I had to swear, put the box on the ground, swear again, open the door, swear, lift the very heavy box, swear profusely, hurry forward while swearing and trying to make it to the next door before it slammed shut right in front of me, all the way swearing and making exhaustive lists of four-letter-words. Other reasons to swear were cat toys, cats and a number of phone calls from the wife who had gone shopping but left her keys at home.

It was much heavier than last time too. The rain had soaked the plaster/sand, which made it harder to shovel and heavier to carry. After five boxes the car’s suspension had lowered impressively. The worst thing was that after all my hard work, Mount Plaster was barely a meter or so shorter than it was before. There’s still five to six more meters to get rid off, and then there is Mount Pungent.

I stuffed the rest of the car with the wood and other garbage. Luckily, I remembered that the lady next door had asked if I had any wood for their stove, so I went over to ask if the offer was still valid. A couple of minutes later most of it had disappeared over the garden enclosure.

So at least the garden looks a lot less derelict, although I still have two heaps of rubble to get rid off. Unfortunately it started to rain profusely when I was unloading the car at the container park, so I couldn’t return for a second tour of duty. I suspect that our cats were very pleased that I couldn’t. They have been using Mount Plaster as their toilet, a fact that I discovered when I removed a piece of ‘clay’ out of the car with my bare hands.

Posted by Bart at 8:55 PM
Categories: Home Improvement


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