Friday, July 27, 2007
Gift From Heaven
I’ve been shat upon!
I was waiting for the bus yesterday evening, in the bus stop under the train station, when I suddenly felt something splatter on my back and rucksack. It was too heavy to be a drop of rain, but without thinking I reached for my back.
My hand was covered in bird shit. ‘It couldn’t have been a pigeon’, I thought when I took of my jacket. There was so much of it, it must have been an eagle! A condor! A cruise missile armed with a scatological warhead! Superman must have tried to save the world of rotten kebab by eating it all in one go, but was unable to clench his mighty butt cheeks when he passed over Antwerp! Given the success of flying fish, whales have decided to give it a go too!
It took me two handkerchiefs to wipe it all of, and then I got stuck with the dilemma of what to do with them: put them back in my pocket? Throw them away? All the while I tried to ignore the sniggering of my fellow bus travellers around me.
And of course, nothing is more pleasant than riding on a hot bus with broken airco and your back covered in grey poo. ‘Luckily’ I got caught by torrential rains the moment I set foot out of that bus, so by the time I got at home the outside of my coat was clean because it had soaked onto my bare skin.
I’m going to borrow one of Wolf’s diapers and carry it on my head.