Saturday, June 28, 2008
I solved a crime! It all happened at a dark and dreary night. Well, it wasn't exactly at night. And it wasn't dreary either, the sun was shining very happily in fact. And I was equally happily hammering away in the garden, making a gazebo to keep the grape vines from becoming a giant entangled mess that flows over in the neigbours' gardens.
Behind our garden is a terrain with rows of garages. The garage boxes have to make place for a couple of brand new houses, so we'll have new neighbours in a while. But then of course, empty building sites are virtual crime magnets.
Suddenly – in crime nothing gradually builds up – a suspect car with an equally suspect trailer behind it drove up the small dirt track that leads to the terrain. Two suspiciously looking suspects got out of the car, after they'd parked it right next to the ruins of a derilict garage box. Without hesitation, they started to lift heavy bags out of the trailer and stack them next to a low stretch of wall.
'Body parts', I murmered to myself. But I was wrong, because one of them started to turn the bags over. It was old building materials, but I bet there was toxic waste mixed in between the dust.
After they'd finished unloading the trailer, they opened the trunk. It was then that they finally saw me standing on my ladder, watching their every move. They hesitated for a moment, I thought I saw one of them reaching for a gun tucked in behind his belt, but then they decided against turning me cold and quickly continued to unload the trunk of their car.
Moments later, the car with the trailer raced off, leaving a trail of dust. I, for one, didn't hesitate a minute and ran inside to inform the authorities, including my wife. I noted their licence plate number on a piece of timber, because I didn't have any paper on me.
An hour later, the police arrived to make an eye-witness report. I must say Mrs.B spoiled the whole thing, pretending that she saw the whole thing happening, just because she was at the other side of the house and saw the car race away from the dirt track. Incidently, the gang lords stopped a couple of houses down the road. Mrs.B speculated that they'd bought the house recently and were now refurbishing it. I wished she would have kept here imagination under control and kept to the facts. All evidence pointed to the clear conclusion that an international crime syndicate was trying to take control of the neighbourhood, waisting everyone that pokes his or her nose in their drugs trafficking scheme.
The police left, without mentioning my central role in their report. Which is just as well, because those killers will certainly want to take revenge and then it's better her than me, that's what I say. Later they (the two police officers) came back to report on the proceedings. They had identified the two men and went to their house. They had made a deal with them: clean up the terrain or face the consequences. What a lousy scam! They should have been arrested immediately, or executed on the spot! Now those hoodlums are certain to 'visit' us again and take their revenge.
I'm moving out of here, I need witness protection!