Thursday, April 3
Confessions of a Rubbish Doorkeeper
Well, I managed to turn up well ahead of time, thanks to the public transport than means I always arrive 20 minutes early onn Sundays and found pretty much everything set up. So not a lot to do then, other than open the door for folks. I waited until the meeting had been going for ten minutes and joined them.
I couldn't really concentrate or really get into too mediative mood, but there were a couple of contributions about a friend who has suffered a loss. Although I did give some time to that, Ifound myself clock-watching as it would have been typical for me to lose track of time and end the meeting far too late, so I kept glancing at my mobile phone (the only thing I carry with a clock) untill it hit 12:00
As it did a friend leapt up and made a contribution to the meeting. I felt it best to let people have a few minutes to contelplate this before signalling the end of the meeting. End result, I didn't blow it, but I lost out on the experience of the meeting. Solution: I need a vibrating mobile phone to silently 'buzz' me back into the meeting at the end.
A Visiting Study Group
Before the meeting I bumped into a couple of people from a youth study group of some kind that are visiting the institutions to learn about our glorious European Empire. They were a nice bright bunch and I had a long chat with one girl from Lebanon about life there and current events.
After the meeting I joined them for a simple meal and had a chance to chat away and have some conversations with members of the meetings. I'm enjoying getting to know people. I'll be seeing them again on Saturday evening at a farewell dinner for them. On Sunday there's a lunch after the meeting, followed by a 'Meeting for Learning'. I think it's a discussion group, but I'm not sure.
Friday is Martin Luther King Jr day. What a great man and what a tragic loss.
Well, I managed to turn up well ahead of time, thanks to the public transport than means I always arrive 20 minutes early onn Sundays and found pretty much everything set up. So not a lot to do then, other than open the door for folks. I waited until the meeting had been going for ten minutes and joined them.
I couldn't really concentrate or really get into too mediative mood, but there were a couple of contributions about a friend who has suffered a loss. Although I did give some time to that, Ifound myself clock-watching as it would have been typical for me to lose track of time and end the meeting far too late, so I kept glancing at my mobile phone (the only thing I carry with a clock) untill it hit 12:00
As it did a friend leapt up and made a contribution to the meeting. I felt it best to let people have a few minutes to contelplate this before signalling the end of the meeting. End result, I didn't blow it, but I lost out on the experience of the meeting. Solution: I need a vibrating mobile phone to silently 'buzz' me back into the meeting at the end.
A Visiting Study Group
Before the meeting I bumped into a couple of people from a youth study group of some kind that are visiting the institutions to learn about our glorious European Empire. They were a nice bright bunch and I had a long chat with one girl from Lebanon about life there and current events.
After the meeting I joined them for a simple meal and had a chance to chat away and have some conversations with members of the meetings. I'm enjoying getting to know people. I'll be seeing them again on Saturday evening at a farewell dinner for them. On Sunday there's a lunch after the meeting, followed by a 'Meeting for Learning'. I think it's a discussion group, but I'm not sure.
Friday is Martin Luther King Jr day. What a great man and what a tragic loss.
posted by quarsan at
09:06 ...
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Monday, March 24
Where am I now?
After attending several meetings I'm feeling comfortable in the group. What is difficult to explain is the experience of silent worship. Recently I've been thinking about conflict resolution, both as a solution to war and strife, but as something we can practice in our daily life. Then the meeting had a contribution on finding peace in ourselves. This made me realise that conflict resolution was something we could also practice inside ourselves.
Hey, it's not profound, but it is something that got me thinking. so much so that I spent the rest of the meeting deep in tohught instead of contemplation or meditation.
I've always been conflicted with a drive towards faith, instilled in me as a child of parents in the Bretheren church and a growing disbelief that brought me close to athiesm. Personally, I think it was the concept of the Trinity that started my doubts, which grew as I became familiar with the fundamentalist literal view of the Bible. But I didn't quite completely stop believing in the 'something', a force rather than the Big Old Guy With The Beard. There are parts of the bible that have always been inspiring, but it's not a book I've been close to for many years.
I did read the whole bible in 1996 as I journeyed from Eritrea to Tanzania. I was struck by several things:
1. A lot of what I had been taught wasn't in there
2. There were some things in there that seemed new to me, often perhaps 'conveniently overlooked' by the churches I was brought up in.
3. Numbers is mindblowingly tedious and Leviticus is deeply mad.
4. Jesus is the most remarkable figure in the book by a long way. Indeed I found him to be more profound, unsettling and mysterious than I had been brought up with.
The Quakers have helped me find a place where I can learn and develop my faith without having a pre-existing dogma or creed that I must sign up to, and they've let me resolve an internal conflict and brought me some inner peace. As the meeting calme to a close, I was thinking about how much I had got out of the meetings and how little I have put in, beyond willingness.
They asked for a doorkeeper for next week. Nobody put up their hands so I did. Next week I expect to wake up 10 minutes before the meeting starts and panic, leaving the community standing in the rain. Not that i'm having nightmares about that or anything.
After attending several meetings I'm feeling comfortable in the group. What is difficult to explain is the experience of silent worship. Recently I've been thinking about conflict resolution, both as a solution to war and strife, but as something we can practice in our daily life. Then the meeting had a contribution on finding peace in ourselves. This made me realise that conflict resolution was something we could also practice inside ourselves.
Hey, it's not profound, but it is something that got me thinking. so much so that I spent the rest of the meeting deep in tohught instead of contemplation or meditation.
I've always been conflicted with a drive towards faith, instilled in me as a child of parents in the Bretheren church and a growing disbelief that brought me close to athiesm. Personally, I think it was the concept of the Trinity that started my doubts, which grew as I became familiar with the fundamentalist literal view of the Bible. But I didn't quite completely stop believing in the 'something', a force rather than the Big Old Guy With The Beard. There are parts of the bible that have always been inspiring, but it's not a book I've been close to for many years.
I did read the whole bible in 1996 as I journeyed from Eritrea to Tanzania. I was struck by several things:
1. A lot of what I had been taught wasn't in there
2. There were some things in there that seemed new to me, often perhaps 'conveniently overlooked' by the churches I was brought up in.
3. Numbers is mindblowingly tedious and Leviticus is deeply mad.
4. Jesus is the most remarkable figure in the book by a long way. Indeed I found him to be more profound, unsettling and mysterious than I had been brought up with.
The Quakers have helped me find a place where I can learn and develop my faith without having a pre-existing dogma or creed that I must sign up to, and they've let me resolve an internal conflict and brought me some inner peace. As the meeting calme to a close, I was thinking about how much I had got out of the meetings and how little I have put in, beyond willingness.
They asked for a doorkeeper for next week. Nobody put up their hands so I did. Next week I expect to wake up 10 minutes before the meeting starts and panic, leaving the community standing in the rain. Not that i'm having nightmares about that or anything.
posted by quarsan at
09:00 ...
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Monday, March 17
Down The Rabbit Hole
Yesterday's meeting was totally silent. I'm getting slightly better at focusing my thoughts but my mind is too often flying at tangents, but I did get the sensation, briefly, of being part of a communal reaching out. I also fell into the silence and found the meeting finished too soon for me. It's a slow process but I hope to be improving my concentration and keeping away distractions. I'm beginning to realise that I've been thinking too much about what I want from meetings, the experience I was looking for. But the most enlightening times have been when something completely different has come up and moved my thoughts into a different direction.
There's also a lot of creakycreaky floorboards in the meeting room. At first I thought this is a bad thing, but the house is a well built one, made with craft and skill that is missing in more modern 'box homes' and the creak of the floor is a sound that is organic and a reminder of something made and maintained with skill and care.
I've decided to got he the weekend retreat, it's actually not too far from my home but I think I'll not be residential. I was going to ask a friend's advice about going after the meeting, but without prompting she started recommending I go as it's a good opportunity to get to know people and look a little deeper into things.
Yesterday's meeting was totally silent. I'm getting slightly better at focusing my thoughts but my mind is too often flying at tangents, but I did get the sensation, briefly, of being part of a communal reaching out. I also fell into the silence and found the meeting finished too soon for me. It's a slow process but I hope to be improving my concentration and keeping away distractions. I'm beginning to realise that I've been thinking too much about what I want from meetings, the experience I was looking for. But the most enlightening times have been when something completely different has come up and moved my thoughts into a different direction.
There's also a lot of creakycreaky floorboards in the meeting room. At first I thought this is a bad thing, but the house is a well built one, made with craft and skill that is missing in more modern 'box homes' and the creak of the floor is a sound that is organic and a reminder of something made and maintained with skill and care.
I've decided to got he the weekend retreat, it's actually not too far from my home but I think I'll not be residential. I was going to ask a friend's advice about going after the meeting, but without prompting she started recommending I go as it's a good opportunity to get to know people and look a little deeper into things.
posted by quarsan at
09:09 ...
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Saturday, March 15
A Mystery Revealed!
One thing that i've been wondering about is the lack of discussion and conversation about spiritual matters after meetings at the Friends house. It has been something I've been aware of, however I've just found out that there are several informal discussion groups and the level of discussion and debate is very high indeed. They're not secret or anything, but I think I have to go a little further myself before I can usefully learn from them. But puzzle solved.
I've been reading and rereading an introductory booklet, A Light that is Shining by Harvey Gillman which is an introduction to the Quakers with a Christian leaning. It's a good introduction and i'm looking to read more. I hope to be in the UK in May and will try to call in at the Friends bookshop on Euston Rd and see what I can find.
There's a weekend retreat coming up and i'm thinking about going. I'm not sure as i'm still a bit green, on the other hand it would give me a chance to learn more.
One thing that i've been wondering about is the lack of discussion and conversation about spiritual matters after meetings at the Friends house. It has been something I've been aware of, however I've just found out that there are several informal discussion groups and the level of discussion and debate is very high indeed. They're not secret or anything, but I think I have to go a little further myself before I can usefully learn from them. But puzzle solved.
I've been reading and rereading an introductory booklet, A Light that is Shining by Harvey Gillman which is an introduction to the Quakers with a Christian leaning. It's a good introduction and i'm looking to read more. I hope to be in the UK in May and will try to call in at the Friends bookshop on Euston Rd and see what I can find.
There's a weekend retreat coming up and i'm thinking about going. I'm not sure as i'm still a bit green, on the other hand it would give me a chance to learn more.
posted by quarsan at
12:07 ...
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Friday, March 14
Becoming Friends?
A friend dropped round with an interesting book on the Quakers. I'm still not quite 'getting it' and have some things to consider. I can see the value of a personal spiritual journey and appreciate the lack of creed, but what if all that means there is nothing at the centre? Is Quakerism reduced to a pick-and-mix religion? Down to personal choice? Well, no. The personal experience is at the centre. As we open ourselves up for guidance we must try hard to check that we are 'rightly guided'. But how do we do this if, ultimately we're all individuals (Cue Brian of Nazareth sermon). I haven't had any real, tangible experience of that and am 'patiently waiting' as they say. I must say that I've felt better since I started attending and patience is a virtue - and one I need to practice in the supermarket checkout queues.
One of the attractions for me was the lack of dogma and creed. To be honest, I'm not sure what I believe in, but I am following a gut instinct. If I joined a more formal church there would be considerable pressure, applied consciously and unconsciously, to accept the creed and join the Borg as it were. I appreciate the freedom to develop the Quakers provide.
A friend dropped round with an interesting book on the Quakers. I'm still not quite 'getting it' and have some things to consider. I can see the value of a personal spiritual journey and appreciate the lack of creed, but what if all that means there is nothing at the centre? Is Quakerism reduced to a pick-and-mix religion? Down to personal choice? Well, no. The personal experience is at the centre. As we open ourselves up for guidance we must try hard to check that we are 'rightly guided'. But how do we do this if, ultimately we're all individuals (Cue Brian of Nazareth sermon). I haven't had any real, tangible experience of that and am 'patiently waiting' as they say. I must say that I've felt better since I started attending and patience is a virtue - and one I need to practice in the supermarket checkout queues.
One of the attractions for me was the lack of dogma and creed. To be honest, I'm not sure what I believe in, but I am following a gut instinct. If I joined a more formal church there would be considerable pressure, applied consciously and unconsciously, to accept the creed and join the Borg as it were. I appreciate the freedom to develop the Quakers provide.
posted by quarsan at
09:09 ...
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Tuesday, March 11
The Friday Project goes Into Liquidation
I've been predicting this for a long time. I got to know about TFP when my partner was contacted by them to write a book. Sure enough it came out, but I grew more and more concerned about it for a few reasons
1. Too Many Books. Their publication schedule was intense, indeed it seemed to be geared to getting as many books published as possible and I couldn't see how they could do that and give each book the attention it needed.
2. Poor Selection. I can think of maybe 10 books that I would publish, many of the rest are sheer drivel, not even qualifying for Book At Bogtime status. Indeed, for a self-proclaimed cutting edge publisher, many ideas seemed to be years late.
3. Lack Of Interest. Several TFP authors have felt that, once a book is published the TFP lose interest in it. Authors are expected to do the promotion and work. They do engage a PR company, but authors tend to be dismissive of it. They do little advertising or promotion themselves, being geared up to getting the next book out of the door. And they wonder why they have low sales! As an example, TFP did nothing for my partners book apart from a couple - yes a couple - of interviews organised by their PR company. We organised a book launch, got star guest and everything. TFP were asked for some publicity materials, but sent nothing, nothing at all. We've no evidence that any publicity materials were ever made.
4. Poor Production Quality. Now this only applies to some of their books, but amongst the outstanding blunders that TFP never noticed include getting the title of my partners' book wrong on the spine - surely something basic in publishing, but they didn't realise until we pointed it out to them. Other books have included type too small to read, poor layout and in one case, the print was so close to the spine the book was literally unreadable.
This bizarre approach has left some authors feeling abused and let down and it's fair to say that 'trust levels' aren't too high right now. However the TFP scattergun approach does make sense when it was revealed that all along, their strategy was to build up a raft of titles and seek a buyout. Sadly their strategy only partly worked as, after losing almost three quarters of a million quid they've had to put the company into liquidation.
Harper Collins are meant to be in the process of buying it, but they appear to have decided that they don't want to be lumbered with all the books and are considering what to take on.
In the meantime, Claire and Scott await their buyout and the authors wait to know what will happen to their books and their copyright. And their royalites. No news so far.
I've been predicting this for a long time. I got to know about TFP when my partner was contacted by them to write a book. Sure enough it came out, but I grew more and more concerned about it for a few reasons
1. Too Many Books. Their publication schedule was intense, indeed it seemed to be geared to getting as many books published as possible and I couldn't see how they could do that and give each book the attention it needed.
2. Poor Selection. I can think of maybe 10 books that I would publish, many of the rest are sheer drivel, not even qualifying for Book At Bogtime status. Indeed, for a self-proclaimed cutting edge publisher, many ideas seemed to be years late.
3. Lack Of Interest. Several TFP authors have felt that, once a book is published the TFP lose interest in it. Authors are expected to do the promotion and work. They do engage a PR company, but authors tend to be dismissive of it. They do little advertising or promotion themselves, being geared up to getting the next book out of the door. And they wonder why they have low sales! As an example, TFP did nothing for my partners book apart from a couple - yes a couple - of interviews organised by their PR company. We organised a book launch, got star guest and everything. TFP were asked for some publicity materials, but sent nothing, nothing at all. We've no evidence that any publicity materials were ever made.
4. Poor Production Quality. Now this only applies to some of their books, but amongst the outstanding blunders that TFP never noticed include getting the title of my partners' book wrong on the spine - surely something basic in publishing, but they didn't realise until we pointed it out to them. Other books have included type too small to read, poor layout and in one case, the print was so close to the spine the book was literally unreadable.
This bizarre approach has left some authors feeling abused and let down and it's fair to say that 'trust levels' aren't too high right now. However the TFP scattergun approach does make sense when it was revealed that all along, their strategy was to build up a raft of titles and seek a buyout. Sadly their strategy only partly worked as, after losing almost three quarters of a million quid they've had to put the company into liquidation.
Harper Collins are meant to be in the process of buying it, but they appear to have decided that they don't want to be lumbered with all the books and are considering what to take on.
In the meantime, Claire and Scott await their buyout and the authors wait to know what will happen to their books and their copyright. And their royalites. No news so far.
posted by quarsan at
10:39 ...
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About Friends Meetings
As many of you know, the Quakers meet in silence, speaking only when moved to do so. I tend to arrive about a quater of an hour early and am admitted by the Doorkeeper (whose functions seem to be to greet people). I take of my jacket and put my mobile into Quaker mode - silent and go upstairs to the meeting room.
The room itself is the size of a lounge with chairs around the walls and a small table in the middle with copies of the Bible and a couple of books on Quaker faith and practice. I'll generally pick up the latter and read a few pages before settling down, closing my eyes and falling into silence.
I've been surprised at how effective the quiet is and I often get into a deep medatative zone very quickly. Occasionally i'll hear others enter the room, but I've never noticed or felt the meeting start.
When someone does speak, it jolts me back to the surface and I try to listen as clearly as I can to what's being said. I've heard contributions lasting a few minuites and some of only a couple of words. Some meetings will have four or five perople speaking, others none. Eventually I feel someone gently hold my hand, I surface and hold my neighbours and the meeting is closed.
Then there's a general call for announcements or news. New people - and we get a lot of visitors - are invited to introduce themselves. All of this is done in an informal and relaxed manner, with jokes and humour. Then we all have a cup of tea or coffee.
This is the hardest part of the meeting to get used to. Although people are prefectly friendly and welcoming, I've noticed a couple of things. Firstly, they're almost disinterested in me. Secondly, they don't talk about religion or theology.
I don't really get this. I understand that it's to do with their concept that your spiritual development is up to you and that they don't look at a newcomer as 'fresh blood' to be drawn in to their church, but there is something here i'm not fully understanding.
That said, I really enjoy going to the meeting and it's the most important part of the week for me.
As many of you know, the Quakers meet in silence, speaking only when moved to do so. I tend to arrive about a quater of an hour early and am admitted by the Doorkeeper (whose functions seem to be to greet people). I take of my jacket and put my mobile into Quaker mode - silent and go upstairs to the meeting room.
The room itself is the size of a lounge with chairs around the walls and a small table in the middle with copies of the Bible and a couple of books on Quaker faith and practice. I'll generally pick up the latter and read a few pages before settling down, closing my eyes and falling into silence.
I've been surprised at how effective the quiet is and I often get into a deep medatative zone very quickly. Occasionally i'll hear others enter the room, but I've never noticed or felt the meeting start.
When someone does speak, it jolts me back to the surface and I try to listen as clearly as I can to what's being said. I've heard contributions lasting a few minuites and some of only a couple of words. Some meetings will have four or five perople speaking, others none. Eventually I feel someone gently hold my hand, I surface and hold my neighbours and the meeting is closed.
Then there's a general call for announcements or news. New people - and we get a lot of visitors - are invited to introduce themselves. All of this is done in an informal and relaxed manner, with jokes and humour. Then we all have a cup of tea or coffee.
This is the hardest part of the meeting to get used to. Although people are prefectly friendly and welcoming, I've noticed a couple of things. Firstly, they're almost disinterested in me. Secondly, they don't talk about religion or theology.
I don't really get this. I understand that it's to do with their concept that your spiritual development is up to you and that they don't look at a newcomer as 'fresh blood' to be drawn in to their church, but there is something here i'm not fully understanding.
That said, I really enjoy going to the meeting and it's the most important part of the week for me.
posted by quarsan at
07:51 ...
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Monday, March 10
Simplicity.
I've recently started attending Quaker meetings and am finding them very interesting indeed. This week a couple of people spoke on the subject of simplicity. I remember coming back from Tanzania and just being stunned by a trip to the supermarket and seeing 27 types of milk for sale. A day earlier I'd been in a place where people were trying to see which of their children they could afford medicine for.
It's then I realised how obscene inequality is. We have plenty of choices, but really only in objects to consume, clothes, food etc. We can't choose to call our leaders to account for their errors, we can't choose to have an honest financial system, we can't choose anything actually important.
Choice; today's bread and circuses.
Apart from the obvious benefits of trying to live a simpler life, it's also a way of learning humility and from that faith can grow. I'm completely unsure what I believe in right now or how to develop, but I think simplicity as a mental concept as well as a lifestyle is going to help.
I've recently started attending Quaker meetings and am finding them very interesting indeed. This week a couple of people spoke on the subject of simplicity. I remember coming back from Tanzania and just being stunned by a trip to the supermarket and seeing 27 types of milk for sale. A day earlier I'd been in a place where people were trying to see which of their children they could afford medicine for.
It's then I realised how obscene inequality is. We have plenty of choices, but really only in objects to consume, clothes, food etc. We can't choose to call our leaders to account for their errors, we can't choose to have an honest financial system, we can't choose anything actually important.
Choice; today's bread and circuses.
Apart from the obvious benefits of trying to live a simpler life, it's also a way of learning humility and from that faith can grow. I'm completely unsure what I believe in right now or how to develop, but I think simplicity as a mental concept as well as a lifestyle is going to help.
posted by quarsan at
08:49 ...
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the weblog
my life in the bush of ghosts is a ground breaking 1982 album by david byrne and brian eno, who took the title from a novel by amos tutuola.
this unique recording is a blending of world rhythms and vocal tracks, constructed from radio broadcasts and other esoteric sources, to create something ahead of it's time. the lyrics are here.
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about quarsan
quarsan is a 45 year old from ambleside, in the english lake district national park.
now living on the eastern edge of Brussels with his partner zoe, together with coralie, tatiana and todd.
he works in mountain trail conservation. after 15 years on the lake district fells he left for tanzania to train village groups to repair footpaths ascending the rift valley. he now offers his services through a trail management consultancy.
quarsan's main interests and activities involve travel and mountains and he has climbed in the middle east and africa, including ras dashen in ethiopia and uganda's ruwenzori, the fabled mountains of the moon.
a highlight has been living in the iraqw community of bermi village in tanzania. there's nothing like the rift valley, and there's nothing better than village life.
outside of that, coffee is a major reason for living.
quarsan's sites
quarsan.net : travels and climbs in africa and
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bermi village : the only
example of an african village writing their own website
sustainable trails : mountain
trail conservation
path repair :
restoring cumbria's mountain trails
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abraxas : an interesting and enjoyable blog
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i make content : incisive journal
from a london journalist
sleeve notes : some guy, some music,
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enigmatic mermaid : erudite and eccentric
blog of a
brazillian translator
kooky mojo : a fun and lively read
troubled diva : funny, smart and ever so
slighly scandalous read
for no good reason : this guy makes
even leicester interesting
pop up toaster : gorgeous blog with a
healthy interest in beer and gaming
trevor wilker :
a friendly canadian with a taste for photography and english music.
barbara fletcher : lovely and
evocative writing from the shore of lake ontario
stunned.org : from dublin, all the art and
cultural news from a fresh and invigorating blog.
that elvish thang : another friendly canadian,
who writes and climbs mountains
Kiplog : superb blog about life, design and blogs from
chicago
the aardvark speaks : well designed blog from austria with great content
Politics in the Zeros : Intelligent, Political, American.
The Cartoonist : A Treasure Trove of Wonderous Things
Cheese Dog : A clear and enjoyable read
Thinking Aloud : Thoughts and ramblings from an English expat movie geek...
Skinny Legs and All : Punk and Politics from NYC
10 other sites
i ching
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un lapin
nomad net
arusha times
africa confidential
