My very personal web page
Last update
: Friday, 28 April 2000
INDEX
BUTTERFLIES (please read this although it’s about feelings for other women).
the counter, just dreaming away on the very beautiful melodic sounds of the music. Just
enjoyed the music while watching the others having fun, and of course observating the most
HATE TO EXPERIENCE (OR : HATE TO DO)
MOTHER ! ! ! (born 30th sep 1930)
POLICE-CAREER : also see “profession”
SEX-APPEAL (also see “violence” : exception).
SPORT AFTER “MIDLIFE DEPRESSION”
STRONG POINTS (see also “bad points” but this is in no way necessary :-) ).
TV : NOW (as it normally is when I can choose everything being alone)
TV : NEVER AGAIN (as it will never be anymore).
MY ULTIMATE (AND THEREFORE HYPOTHETICAL)
Love long hair, it is one of those things that makes a woman a real woman. To see women
Provisional end of my personal webpage
beautiful song “I will always love you”. And repeated
permanently. If you are fed up
with the song, throw your loudspeeker through the
window. Or hide him in the cellar.
it’s gonna be pretty tough to hear anything at all. In
that case just whistle a bit. Whistle
a song you particularly like. Or play the piano, while
reading. Or put a canary beside
your computer and let him “chirp, chirp, chirp”.
will interest you.
(address : http://geocities.com/ronalderus/photo2748.html ).
(MY WIFE), SEX and SALARY” FIRST.
further anymore. I’m gonna put these few items
hereunder. It’s also ment
as a help, for those who have an old type of
computer or a slower computer.
do, undertake, do everything what a 30-year old does.
Most of my life I just have been
an observer and heard a lot of things, experienced
many changes, had many contacts.
the age and wisdom I have today ! I just feel the best
part of my life has to come yet.
the word HONESTY, and is willing to get very close
(psychologically and physically).
person I’m gonna feel the most comfortable with.
russia, that the average russian age limit is 71 for
females and only 59 for men.
husband. I will take my future wife as she is. A not
too great mutilation (missing finger, toe, ...)
scar, or bodydisfunction (limp, harelip, part of body
burn,...) is no problem at all. Even in
the face ! As long as I find in her face, that special
little attractiveness (the twinkle out of her
eyes, a mouth I very particularly like, a cute nose,
an overwhelming smile, .... or a
combination of several little particularities. Again,
my future wife does not have to be
beautiful outside. But certainly honest and beautiful
inside.
my future wife around in a wheelchair. And she has to
have those bodyparts I like to caress.
caressed also :-). She may also be a very shy,
fragile, or vulnerable person. It’s even gonna make
it easier for me to give her all the attention she
needs.
change. Then it’s fate who wanted to have it that way.
Even when I have to drive her around
in a wheelchair. Or carry her on my back, whatever.
PROFESSION
I’m working as a personnel member for the city of Antwerp. In that status I am
connected
to the Antwerp police force in an administrative
function. I do not do any streetwork
anymore, since a general reformation took place on
October 1st 1997.
were taken away from my “dutyprofile”. I am busy now
to receive people with a request
to receive the Belgian Nationality. They have to
fulfil to certain demands.
“rehabilitated”. This in consequence to something bad
against the law, they did in their
past. To be able to get your honour back you have
to satisfy several conditions. When
you ultimately are rehabilitated, you could for
instance regain the ability to go and find a
regular job. Because we have a jail inside our
precinct, I also have the task to go to that
prison - in civilian cloths (to make the inmates at
ease) - to take declarations from them.
shoulder when we part. The women get a warm
handshake.
“social assistent”. Of course, nobody has to try to
offend or nag me on purpose. It’s not
gonna be his/her best day. Even when I don’t use violence.
I hate violence. Thus, don’t get
mislead, by the view you have from your own police
force at home. Over here it’s totally
different.
account every tax cut or special deduction : thus
the part you finally get into your hands to
spend : 71.588Bef ( = 1774,62 Euro).
SEX
Nothing unusual. My wife’s wishes will always be fullfilled. Can adapt,
but am not that
fond of crawling around a table wearing a leather mask
and be beaten like a bewildered
animal with an iron whip. Do not like to do “ploef”
and it’s over with. Foreplay and
afterplay are at least as important to me. When
there is not enough time left, a quickie
can do of course :-).
to eat, eat very irregularly, eat only small bits, eat
with appetite, eat with great appetite,
will keep on eating, nearly can’t stop eating,
keep on eating till instant death follows. Then
hours in a lonely remote country side under a hurting
sun. When feelings rise and instant
love is necessary, to satisfy those instant feelings,
then of course there is no time to
freshen up.
still undiscovered ways.
Absolutely love to caress. Even without the sex-part
of it.
After all, sex stays a very important part of a relationship. Certainly
when you marry
a YOUNG woman.
* * *
* * * * *
* *
picture about myself and my inner side. EVERY
WORD that is written in this short page is
coming from me personally (except citations, and so
on). That repeating myself is normal. I am
not gonna read all the page, everytime I update
it. This is another dangerous way of acting that
somewhere could consider this very weard, and perhaps
a reason for not reading further or
not answering me. You nearly have to be an idiot to
expose yourself for the world, as I am doing.
of information is only ment as an extra.
Purely to more quickly convince a marriage candidate.
upperskull, please stop. And relax in a cosy chair. Or
in a hangmat in your vegetable
garden. Reading this page further could after all
final brain damage and excruciating pain.
something is not clear to you, and you want
more explanation. Normally this
page would have a russion version. Time doesn’t let
me.
it later on, very gradually, item
per item, by myself and my teacher. And I will continue
adding new items or change those who already exist.
The content is strictly
mine. Because this page is just ment to be a resource for
those, who want
to get an opinion about me. And who want to know who I
am. And judge me.
an ongoing work, that started somewhere in december
99. So the “quality” of what
you read is higher than reality. This because of the
result of constant reviews,
corrections, and adding material ! ! !
would give her a quality of life she never ever had.
But without losing my personality
of course. Dedication and wanting to make my wife’s
life constantly happy and
enjoyable, is not a process where I am only gonna be a
part of my own furniture.
thoughts and a lot of experience. And with an own
will.
have more attention than a normal woman can ever dream
of. On paper
this sounds easy, but sometime, somewhere I’ll proof
it. To that woman, who believes
in my thruthfulness.
dream. This text also shows what way of life I want to
lead. Yes : a pleasant one
without problems.
to make humourous remarks practically always gets the
upperhand. When I
should kill my mothers murderer, my sitting in jail is
not gonna produce many
humourous remarks. Although, if I should really belong
there and would know
the time (and crying in the dark).
page. In the way I’m gonna express myself you can have
an impression of my way
of thinking and what a person I really am.
of me.
(((Preparation for definite lay-out webpage :
FOR THE BRILLIANT MJP Junior to judge
the further “special effects” and structure of this
page. See very end of this page))).
russian or russianspeaking woman for marriage
(reasonably soon). I will use humour
in the text. I know for sure it’s gonna be a practical
impossible mission to achieve.
and her work is not at all easy. She is going to live
in an unknown country with a
new life and future to develop : DIFFICULT ! ! ! VERY
DIFFICULT : but I’m taking on the
challenge. I’m going for it. After all there is
one great advantage. I’m gonna be the one to
make that future come true. That’s my only goal left.
And I’m gonna fulfil it until I’m
145 years old, and time would be shortening. To
friendly remind you : a woman who would
like to know me better, should find her
way between written reality, humour, dream
and seriousness. The text also shows what kind of life
I want to have with my future
wife. So do not think I’m not
a serious man. I am very serious indeed. It only doesn’t
often show on the outside.
emotionally. This will be reflected further on.
So, my proposal to marry... Again , I’m very serious about it and I just want
to dedicate
my life to a Russianspeaking woman that is
willing to accept my proposal. From
my part I would make her life as wonderful as I
can. Dedication means : constantly
doing everything to make her life
happy. The only thing she has to do is giving me much
affection and love, and being honest (see also
“marriage : reasons”).
present myself – to somebody living somewhere - as
detailed as possible, giving
information about myself as much as possible. This has
a great danger indeed. Being a
rather long text, people could get bored seeing the
size of it. But nobody has to read the
whole text. Pieces can be chosen to read. See the
index of items below.
machinegun, go to an interpreter and ask him friendly
with the top of the barrel in
his mouth, to translate the whole part in Russian.
woman is really interested
in me. Then I would reveal more.
as honest a person as can be ! You see : honesty
is important to me. Without honesty :
a friendship or relationship is bound to gradually
loose its value (crumble off).
ATTENTION
The item “My ultimate preferences” in the end, only shows the picture I made
for
myself as
I see the ideal woman. Of course this is hypothetical. In reality I will
only get tiny parts of that “ideal” image.
The older I am, the lesser I have to be
insisting, with wanting to have that ideal
type of woman. I could have made one great
mistake in my youth. I then not started
a love affair with a girl I simply adored. Because
she already had a friend at the time. And I have
to admit : I also was too unexperienced
at the time to show her my real emotions.
Even so early in my life, I did not break my
already existing principles of life (see “romantic”
and “principles”).
friend. And this will never ever happen !
children, is not really willing to have any. That’s
gonna be very difficult for me too.
attention to my future wife only. She has to
have something in fer face I like.
that ... That ressembles that of an old ugly
kameleon, without teeth, and with eyes
looking in different directions all the time. And
with eyes having eight times their
normal size. The relation won’t last too
long. For me there has to be a minimum
attraction, or something in the face of my wife I
particularly like. But primarily
the inside, the inner self stays of the most
importance.
Lay out webpage : further thoughts
underneath the pictures (what month and year they were
taken).
End with several pictures at work in uniform : the item work.
Put pictures in modernlooking framework
of 2000. End with my personal best youth
picture, and personal best present picture
without and in uniform.
Antwerp
Look in the middle of the map of Belgium and you will find Brussels, the “Capital
ports of Europe and a very attracting historic center.
Belgium
Is not that easy to find. Do not try to find it on one of those globes. Your
eyes will fall
out of your head of exhaustion, while doing so.. In a
map of Europe it is still uneasy to
do : trying to find the right location. To be
short : try to find Holland (Netherlands),
but it is as small a country as Belgium.
Underneath The Netherlands lies Belgium in all
its greatness. Left of its western border is a
piece of The North Sea and left of the North
way I usually sing in the bathroom : not at all.
SPECIFICATIONS ABOUT MYSELF
Special Attention
This page will regularly be adapted and updated. I’ll always try to put the
update date in the
texte. And when only adding an item, gonna mention
this fact, in the index (just behind it).
every day, because I still have to study for two
evening schools Russian at the same time.
whom I feel totally one, and whom I can really trust
and dedicate my life to, much of the
below mentioned will be changed accordingly to her
wishes. Try me out, this is an
unusual offer, and I mean what I say. Modest, even
shy, fragile or vulnerable women are
even more gonna be surprised. For those I can even
better fulfil there dreams. The impact
of the change is gonna be much greater with those kind
of woman. I don’t like the general,
dominant type of woman. The general type of woman,
with the heavy knocking fist on the
table.
Love to speak about anything, by preference about positive things. Of
course
sometimes you have to indicate what goes wrong in
this world. Or when one is
confronted with a bad situation. I let it
quickly follow by a possible remedy or
at least a positive thought. The last years I
spoke quite a lot about the Russian
language. But my ability to speak
Russian itself is still weak. A russian child
of 3,5 has more knowledge than me. And I
have practical 4 years of Russian “study”
behind me. I’m not alone in this. My fellow
students capability to speak Russian is
not that very much better. So much about the level in
our evening schools. It shows
how difficult your language is. I made a promise to my
workcollegues, that I want
to help them with russian in the future. I’m going to
do so. A promise is a promise.
Can easily adapt to a person. One example : when my first and only girlfriend
asked
me to go to a concert of Will Tura, a Belgian
singer whom she likes a lot, but I am
not that particular fond of, we went seeing him
for 3 concerts in all. In fact I got to
like him quite well and now have several tracks
of him I adore. In a relation it’s a
giving and taking and adapting. It’s just a way
of expressing your love for the other.
respect my girlfriends personal interests, and
that made it much easier.
It’s quite simple. A woman can get my full cooperation and support about
anything,
when she is honest and joyful. And does not like to
quarrel, but instead loves to care
and caress and keep a positive mind. I have to
feel that she really wants to have a
joyful, very thorough, caressing and
intimate relationship. Just like that. Then
“one of my {many} nuclear reactors” will
activate and be focussed totally on her :-).
People who I can rely on, say that I am not looking like a 28-year old. I
replied
that I still do think that way. One guy persisted
that little too long to persuade
me of the opposite. He now recovers in strictly
“solitary confinement”, having
very special treatment in a specialized
psychiatric hospital. Last Christmas I sent
him his 6th Christmas card, with the
message not to loose confidence in his future.
undertake, everything like a 30-year old does. Most of
my life I just have been
an observer and heard a lot of things, experienced
many changes, many contacts.
having the wisdom I have now ! I just feel the best
part of my life has to come yet.
the word HONESTY, and is also willing to get very
close (physically and
intellectualy). Just want to get totally one with her
in physical and psychical way.
russia, that the average age limit is 71 for females
and only 59 for men. Well,
over here it is 83 for females and 71-73 for males ! !
!
To enjoy the rest of my life along with my future wife. Before somebode drives
my
coffin with my remains to the cemetary, I first
want to be able to write her russian
poems. If honest, sincere, really wanting to give
love and care, she can ask for
everything she wants to reach out here, or
anywhere. When she wants to work here,
her the opportunity to do so. If not, all the
same to me. As long as I can rely on her
truth, real love, care and affection. She can
point out how I have to look. Since I’m
gonna live in dedication to her, she may decide
whether I have to grow a long beard,
shave everything of, let my hair grow like a
middle-aged “hippie”, or whatever.
attractive to her as much as possible. I never liked
to wear blue-jeans, but when she
wants so, I will start wearing them, and
so on, and on,... I’m quite sure she won’t
succeed to let me wear women shoes with high
heals or a miniskirt. A bikini ?
Perhaps. A “mono-kini”, yes : why not.
I rent a so-called “social apartment” in the inner city of Antwerp. “Social”
means
that those apartments were designed to be taken
by the very poor only. Like
everywhere else, exceptions crept in. Also the
more fortunate had the possibility
to rent such an apartment. I’m not rich but
my monthly paybill would normally
not allow me to rent a social apartment at
all.
owner of these kind of apartments is a company,
and the board of directors, and
the director himself, are very much political
appointees. To be honest. I got this
apartment with the help of political support. The
right to rent the apartment
will go over to my wife when “something should
happen to me”. She is always
gonna be secured of a firm living place for
the rest of her life. Of course,
when I would set fire to my apartment or put a
small atom bomb to explosion in
my living room - it could be in the kitchen also :
I don’t know yet - then the board
of directors could consider this a reason to put
me out, and build the ruin back
up again.
could take quite some time before having them. After
all, since 20th august 1999,
not that orderly. But my ex-girlfriend did not worry
about it.
Just love to see to beautiful houses, buildings and constructions. Love to see
beautiful
interiors, whatever. Made myself different
things that could fit in interiors (see “Art”).
running route in the neighbourhoud of an Antwerp
expensive villadistrict. Full of
wonderfully build villa’s and houses belonging to the
very rich. While running I could
enjoy their beauty. And sometimes spit on the ground,
because some owners have a
criminal background.
A long time in my life I did not take decisions by myself. Because of an
overprotection
from my mother. This also was the case concerning
my army duty. The army duty has
been skipped in Belgium, but in 1971 I
still had the obligation to do my duty.
officers-schooling (“KRO”). That part of my life
I was still so green and unexperienced,
that I should have chosen to have the schooling
for under-officer.
had the lowest education of all the nominees
in our platoon. Just high school.
a somehow lower diploma as a “social assistent”.
My present function is still
below that of the “social assistent”-level.
Normally I would have done my service as a soldier and
nothing more. Just like that.
Left the army rather depressed not only because of the experiences in my time
in
officers. And the highest possible rank for a
KRO-trainee. I left the army as a simple
soldier, not even a corporal, and that had to
sink in for a long time.
Even knowing the arguments that were in my favour to explain that incapability
to
succeed the officerschool (see before), I was very
concerned, because I want to succeed in
everything I do. I knew I had the capacibilities -
otherwise I would not have passed the
officers initial severe qualifying weekend in
“Everberg” near Leuven. A qualifying weekend
to make a selection between all the KRO-kandidates.
Of 22 candidates in my part of the
year 70, only 3 succeeded. I was one of the happy
few. I had the potential, but in the
platoon, my knowledge alone was not
enough to compete with all those high-leveled
students. I got to know 5 KBO’s and spent
my days more with then than with the members
of my platoon. KBO (if interested, ask more).
A very bad consequence of the army was the drinking habit. Everyone learned
to
drink there (alcohol). Or specialize in drinking.
I should lie when I say everyone. There were
exceptions of course who never drunk alcohol. A
glass of bear was unbelievably cheap,
compared to the prices in pubs, taverns and
so on (at that time in 70-71 : 5 Belgian francs
per glass in the army). Because
army duty was then obliged, many of the recrutes were
not applauding of enthysiasm all day
long.
in alcohol. Have to admit we got a good example
of the professional military personnel.
practical joke amongst us, was to let them puke into
their helmet. As we all only got one
helmet it was not a pretty smell to the
owner to carry his helmet. Even after it was
thoroughly cleaned. The smell could last
for weeks and on a very hot summer day : ! ! !).
General interest in everything. Even in awkward forms of art. When having free
time
(last 11 years did not find any), love the art to build
and construct beautiful things to
decorate or put in my apartment. Will send pictures of
it later on. I like self-designed
houses. The art of searching for very exceptional and
original designs ! As I love to be
creative, should want a very original design. I
particularly like very much those typical
course there are castles everywhere and very beautiful
ones. I also like the era of those
great wooden battle-ships that conquered the rest of
the unknown world.
Слабые
стороны : где ?
ну, ГДЕ ? Ага, да,
дада ... дадададада...дадада
и дададададададаДАДАДАДАДА.
играть
нервными
кем-нибудь.
Говорят что
я
решительный
человек и я
как-то
импульсивный
в моих
решениах, но
желание
жениться –
ясное
решение.
Я не
пылесосю
каждый день
(неделя ...) и не
люблю
смахивать
пыль (с
мебели),
убираю
комнату и
мыть посуду.
Я никогда
нигде хочу
ударить
женщину –
просто
недостойный.
Для
меня –
разрушится
центральный
силы
взаймоотношения
брака.
What bad points ? Which weak points ? What does the
word “bad” mean ? Never heard
of it. All right :
to the outside. Just avoid problems. Never want to quarrel
or loose my temper. The world
itself is already rude enough. Between me and my
future wife is gonna develop an absolute
friendship and understanding.
you, let’s start ! Where is the bedroom”. No, I have
to feel that she cares and wants to be
affectionate. The ice has to break. I have to know if
a woman is really after love and wants
to join my inner side.
come over as excessing. But feel safe. I can’t enjoy
myself, when my wife doesn’t want to
do or receive whatever.
and so on. From my youth on I’m also a bit forgetful.
This can be very funny in reality.
“butterflies”, second case. She was the only one I
even write a poem for.
I don’t like to wear woman’s cloths : for example high
heels and a woman’s “joebka”.
Hate the word in all its meanings (exception “beat = music”. This sounds
silly
from a policeman, but I hate anybody to be beaten up,
and especially women. Even
when a woman should slaughter her 9 children,
burn them afterwards and awaits
her husband at home to decapitate him, she
deserves punishment. But certainly
not to be beaten up.
very wrong. I still have to give my first
“slap in the face” or on whatever part of a
woman’s body ever. It never occurred before
and it will never be in the future. I just
cannot imagine doing such a thing. Beating
is so devastating. Cherisch, love, caress,
care, that sounds much more positive. Of
course when I should be beaten up by a
woman, it should be obvious I’m gonna try
to defend my life.
The real beauty lies within the heart and soul, and is shown throughout a
woman’s
personality : this includes her way of clothing and
making herself pretty, her way of
expressing and behaving, her way of reacting on things
and people and expressing herself
in all kinds of situations. I consider this the
highest form of beauty : the inner beauty !
also : that’s a special bonus. But outside beauty
won’t last forever. However, every
age has its own beauty. If the inner beauty is
present, that inner beauty and happiness
will always reflect on the outside !
also convinced that the first impression of
a person is not necessary the right one. A
person can look rather “disturbed or sad”,
but afterwards, after knowing that person
better, he/she turns out to be a wonderful human
being.
I earlier said that outside beauty disappears. It’s the inside beauty that
counts. Take my
face for instance : my left eye is made of glass, but
has the same colour as my right eye.
look like a trophee winning kameleon.
Furthermore I am build like a normal muscled
athlete. Perhaps my right leg can be mentioned. Due to
a failed suicide attempt, I lost that
leg. I assure you it was not a happy experience, but I
now have a wooden one. It only gives
me some problems in the swimming pool, when I try to
dive. That I am deaf on one ear
should surely not be a problem. When you know
which side it is, it is easy to avoid
embarrassment, when I do not answer. Many people say
that after shaking hands with me
they feel rather disturbed. I usually do not say in
advance, that I miss three and a half
fingers on my right hand. With my left hand
everything is ok, there only my thumb is
missing. This due to a misunderstanding with my cat
“Dino” in the seventees.
ok. My head is very normal and stands on top of my
body. A luck that it is allright,
because it contains (beside the heart) the most
important organ of the entire body : the
brain).
everywhere around. My nose is very cute, certainly for
those who like it. It never fails.
days, it allready occurred that my nose got loose from
its foundation. For me a very
surprising and annoying experience. Fast medical
assistance has been helpful upto now.
left and the right side of my head. Standing under the
shower I have to be cautious. Once,
mouth shut when necessary. It always should be
necessary, because when I open it widely,
everybody can see the greatest possible cemetery of
distorted, dead and wronggrown
teeth. I can’t brush in a normal way. I’m not
gonna describe how I do it. You could be
embarrassed. It would only give you then a negative
impression of my body and I will do
everything to avoid that. Let me just say that the
very last little irregularity is that while
eating, when I open my mouth and I start to chew the
food, my ears both start waving.
nature. When my ears wave all the time while eating,
they just increase that politeness.
scar, or bodydisfunction (limp, harelip, part of boy
burn,...) is no problem at all. Even in
the face ! As long as I find in her face, that special
little attractiveness (the twinkle out of her
eyes, a mouth I very particularly like, a cute nose,
an overwhelming smile, .... or a
combination of several little particularities. Again,
my future wife does not have to be
beautiful outside. But honest and beautiful inside.
my future wife around in a wheelchair. And she has to
have those bodyparts I like to caress,
the main part of the body, the head, both arms and
legs (and feet and hands). When all fingers
are missing, I’m gonna feel unsatisfied, because I
very much like to be caressed also.
wants to have a happy, easy and joyful life.
explosing - for his beautiful looks, and left him.
While other woman did’nt care and
kept on loving their husbands, more seeking the love
from inside.
searched for a woman. Still believing fate and
coincidence would start the fairy tale.
for some entrance exams). I was extremely in
love (here they say for ‘a first love’ : “a puppy
love”), and sat for a whole year next to that
girl (called Rita). I could her make laugh very
easily and very frequently. Some say making a woman
laugh easily, is already having the
job half done.
her, on hearing the song “Loving Arms” from
Elvis). I was just counting off the seconds
until the next eveningschool lesson, to be able to sit
beside her. The last schoolday when
we shaked hands, I just felt the mutual electricity
and chemistry. Never felt such electricity
anymore afterwards. Of course we got to know each
other better during the whole year.
relation. The second one I felt butterflies for is
just a strange story. This one I have no photo
of, because she is for some reason refusing it. As I write
this down she is still working on
the same floor where I work (as a civilian
member). The example is strange, because whe
only know each other from working on the same “great”
floor.
each other. She’s somehow unreachable and very
mysterious. To that extend, that I think
personally, she has gone through a perhaps “awful”
experience somewhere growing up.
unverifiable feelings, which I thought
would never appear anymore, since my “Rita”-butterflies,
just whelled up heavily in april/may 99. Those
feelings just took me by surprise and without wanting
them. Because she expressed her dislike about me
already earlier. She’s already quite some years
working in the force. Since we moved our precinct
in 94 everybody was put in new places and
surroundings.
to go up to the first floor, just to keep me away from
her. Practically never saw her in two years.
our department had to move to the great first floor (2nd
floor in Russia). Were I’m sitting, I could
see her desk, herself, hear her speak, hear her jokes,
her remarks. Those first 14 days I felt such
butterflies, that I could barely stand it.
Luckily somebody decided to place some closets just in such
a way, I now can’t see her anymore. But those
feelings stay. That’s not pleasant, knowing I’m of no
importan ce to her emotionally. After all it is very
possible that, when we should sit at a table
(outside work) for about an hour - or half an hour
-, it could easily be me, who is not gonna be that
fond of her anymore. By discovering more of her
thoughts, more of her inner side.
and kindly said in May 99 : “things would
never work out between us”. I’m not her type and I just
have to accept that. Case closed. After all
I did what I never do : take the initiative. She’s the first.
to have no relationship at all. Or want to
cherish her freedom ! Or wants to be in the picture helping.
her whenever I can. And I can’t see her anymore, from
where I sit. But she stays an extraordinary human
being. With a personality and just all of
her : behaving, manner of speaking, the looks, her kind of humour : just
marvellous ! Even when she’s angry.
special feelings persist, although I don’t want them
to. BUT : I am never anymore gonna take
whatever emotional initiative to her. To get rid of
those feelings, I should ask her to punch me on
the nose. And my eyes. And an uppercut onto my chin.
And some more punches on the nose. Perhaps
that would let flee away those strong feelings that I
keep feeling towards her.
feelings can arise again to other women. Writing
to you is never gonna produce such “butterfly”-
feelings. An internetcontact is not romantic at all.
It’s just a technical approach. To assure you again :
and who likes much to caress and care. Just a
woman I can feel very comfortable with. And if real love
grows between us, it’s gonna be an enormous
bonus. AND I NEVER CHEAT ON A WOMAN. YOU JUST
HAVE TO BELIEVE THIS. IT’S THE TRUTH, NOTHING BUT THE
TRUTH, AND ONLY THE TRUTH,
SO HELP ME GOD ! ! ! ONCE I’VE
EMOTIONALLY COMMITTED MYSELF TO A WOMAN, NO
OTHER IS GONNA INTEREST ME. Hypothetically : when I am about to marry,
and when that last
mentioned woman at work should herself take any
initiative towards me. I’m not gonna react anymore.
I AM OLDFASHIONED. I’M DIFFERENT. ONCE DEDICATED
MYSELF DEFINITIVELY TO A WOMAN,
SHE ALONE IS GONNA BE IN THE PICTURE IN EVERY WAY YOU
CAN THINK OF. Never in my life
Had two. To make a long story short : they both retired premature due to my
driving
style. The first was a “Renault 5”, a small but lovely
car that could park in the smallest
places. Consquently to my drive-style and also due to
the faults of others, after some years,
very inside of the engine block. The rest
undergoed so many changes one could’t see any
more that it once was a “Renault 5”.
The second one was a brown-gold “Mitsubishi”. It had to undergo several
collissions
as well. And the last of them was a final totally
overwhelming collissionbreakdown.
approach in a rather fast way behind me. And it kept
approaching without tempering
its speed. My teeth started chattering heavily, but …
Boem ! My head was sticking
out of the totally crashed front windowscreen. After
that I decide to stop my
cardriving career. Because I can’t change the
existing fact, that I’m a sportive driver
(and therefore a dangerous driver). Decided never to
have a car again. I know have a
small motorbike and I drive it .... Yes : in a
sportive manner. However, when my wife
wants a car, I first gonna ask her if she wants
to drive (would do everything to get her her
a drivers licence). I do not drink
anymore and stay sober on partys and go-outs with
friends. When I should go out with my future wife,
only the two of us, then I would of
course make an exception and drive myself,
because my wife is gonna enjoy her spare
time, her evenings and everething else. For
example, when going out for dinner, she
should be able (when she wants to of course) to
enjoy a good glass of wine, bear, or
glasses of ...?). In Belgium the law is
severe on driving while having drunk some
alcoholic drinks. I Have had the opportunity for
two years to coördinate the so called
(“to attack the weekend accidents by controls”).
The drivers brought in, in the
policestation, could not escape anymore. When
they refused to blow in a measure device,
a doctor was called to take a bloodsample.
Refusing this, meant the driver automatically
would be considered guilty of “driving
under the influence of alcohol” (or any other
means : for example drugs). This according
to Belgian law. Other countries are even
more severe. In Sweden when you are driving,
and you just dare only to think about
“wanting to drink some alcohol”, you are
tortured and put in jail for years. Since
“a question of some centimeters” or I wouldn’t be busy
typing this page.
After the accident of my sister Debora, on 4 feb 97 (born 30 okt 60), I even
became more
risk-avoiding. Some driver thought he could make her
learn to fly, by hitting her with
such power, she flew 30 meters through the air in
front of his car. She got in a coma, but
due to her enormous will and perseverence, came back
to us (what a relief), and
undergoed since then operation after operation. In
februari 2000 she has to be operated
again. Something hurting in her back has to be
removed. But her willpower and will to
live, made that today, she can live her own life and
she even drives her own car again.
restricted amount of hours every day. The accident
caused substantial braindamage.
enjoys every day as a bonus. AN EXTRA BONUS, that life
has given her. She can be
annoyed now by people who, for example, come
to work and are not feeling good
because their little finger itches ! People who
made it through a near-dead-experience
look at life differently. I learned a lot from it
as well and have a great admiration for
her willpower.
One of my favourite occupations. When I have something around to caress of
course. For
now, my cat “Whisky” has the honour to get in the picture
“all” the time when I’m home
(he’s named after his most preferable drink. You
should see him dance after half a bottle).
world record of being caressed. I just love it. I
adore it. The touch of my hand with a
female body and that soft skin, and to caress it, any
particular part of it .
Just marvelous ... ! And it necessarily does not
have to do with sex alone.
I am fond of all animals but as a house pet I like cats. Had several ones. As a
bachelor I
have to work, and can not be around my
housepet while away. A cat suits better, he is more
used to be on “his” own. My latest cat
“Whisky” is a real gift from heaven. I never had a
cat so well-behaved and have no problem
with him at all. He gets very much attention
when I am home, and he surely contains the
world record of being the most caressed
cat in cathistory. Sometimes he starts running away,
when I try to approach him for
a next cuddle. The Guinness Book of
Records won’t publicize the record. They say it is
so high it will never be broken. So what the
fuck ! (what a naughty language).
One learns from experiences of the past. My first cat was one of a family,
living under
my parents “caravan”, years ago. His name was Dino and
it was a wild cat.
having his small balls removed. I have not been that
friendly to him all the time. In his
years I was having my “midlife
crisis”-experience and then drunk and smoked more than
“necessary”. And under the influence confrontated with
a still “wild” behaving cat,
tensions rose frequently. I regret that period of
course. That period has been closed since
december 88 (see also “sport”). Made it up with his
successor : “Mieke” a brown female
that got all the extra caresses, Dino missed.
When I was thinking about buying a persian cat (“Whisky”) - my sister had such
a lovely
only 10 weeks then, unbelievably charming, and slept
alot. But while awake I told him not
to jump onto tables, onto the bed pillows, crawl
underneath the pillows, jump onto my
personal buro, onto the kitchen lower closet and sink,
onto other places, eat up the
carpets, tearing apart my curtains, biting in my toes,
and so on. He managed to learn very
early what was right and wrong. And experienced for
himself that eating a carpet was not
a good thing to do and did cause stomage problems.
Those two weeks presented me the
most wonderful and brave cat anybody could wish
for. He’s so cute and well-educated.
Last week “Whisky” came out with a very special announcement. He said that he
was
pregnant and in his 6th month. I was
surprised of course. It would be never ever seen
before : a male castrated Persian cat becoming a
caring father. For now, I’m not that very
convinced. When I put my ear onto his belly, I can’t hear
litlle kittens move, cry and
shout. But he perseveres and is already begging
for position clothing. And I just bought
him a brand new “jeans”. He sais he’s gonna raise his
kids in Dutch and perhaps also in
“miauw-miauw”.
To change any habit is very difficult, especially the bad ones (smoking,
drinking,
vacuum-cleaning every day, …).
citations).
In fact I’m pessimistic from nature, but learned that speaking pessimistic and
behave like
it, is not the right attitude. Complaining from
morning till evening - and perhaps even
while asleep - leads to nothing. Therefore I am now an
optimist of vocation. Whenever
possible, love to make constant humouristic remarks.
For the rest of my life, like to have
only fun, fun, fun, fun, fun and even more fun and
fun, every day, of every week, of every
month, of every …and so on. Hate to quarrel and speak
behind someone’s back. Because I
refuse to behave like those (most) people,
complaining and criticising others.
positive way of thinking about life. Have a soft
character. When I should have seen the
light I might easily have become a priest.
But that possible light, even showing up,
should be so bloodcoloured, I never would convert me.
No, I cannot follow whatever
religion that lets those crualties and
injustices in our world go on.
Like them a lot but won’t have any of my own. My future wife, I want to
spent ALL
my attention to, ONLY TO HER, and give here that much
special extra (my god, what a
sentence !). I love children (when they don’t cry,
because then I start to run without
knowing where to stop) and can even look at them four
an endless time with great
admiration. Mostly because of their
spontaneity, beauty and “unspoiledness”.
women) but chose to dedicate ALL her life to her 3
children. She’s still continying to
do so. Because she never had a life of her own, I
certainly don’t want the same to happen
to my wife. Just the contrary of course. Have been too
much a witness of the devastating
kind of life my mother still has to bear. My wife is
gonna have as much fun, pleasure,
attention, affection and love, I can possibly give
her. And remember : I have much fantasy
and I am creative, when having somebody around to give
it to. And knowing someone who
about her very grown-up children, until she is
overaged and finally has to quit her
efforts, due to her age. Hope she then finally can
have the rest, she never learned to
experience. Her life is an ongoing, neverending story
of being busy only for the family.
with us, and with father of course. She still
regularly brings me meals, used to do my
laundry (now my youngest sister does it for me).
Concerning children : I also like to follow the example of my aunt and uncle in
the States.
else’s).
BUT, when my future should be in the company of a young beautiful woman and
she
should convince me after all, a child might be
possible (but it’s gonna be a VERY difficult
thing to convince me of). The remembrance of my
mothers lack of life, because of her
devotion for her children, gave me a very, very
thorough dislike of having children
and that my wife is gonna develop into the same kind
of life as my mother.
to have any, I will do my utmost to give it the
attention it deserves. In my younger years,
choose the gender yet. Now having a child(ren) :
attention, love and care are of the utmost
importance. That is needed to prepare the child(ren)
for having as best an entrance in life,
as possibly imaginable. It sounds cruel, I know that,
but want only and certainly for the
first ... years of our marriage, ONLY give
attention to my future wife. A child takes so many
attention from both parents, that my last goal is not
gonna be fulfilled, always busy with our
child(ren). If real love grows, everything is possible
of course.
Нормальный
не хочу иметь
детей, совсем
не тем
временем
впервые 8 лет
брака. After
that, ... then I would near the end of my working career. And with the
love of a “grandfather” I could take and spent all day
looking after the child(ren).
her with whatever. I know how strong the family
ties in Russianspeaking countries.
and only, showed up by coincidence. Always had that
lost chance in mind about that
girl in evening school (see “butterflies”). When I was
still too unexperienced and she already
was having a friend at the time. And not marry her but
build up a very steady relationship, as
if we were married. Untill today never met such a
woman (one exception, although I only
know her from sight : see “principles” (last part).
Now, I am seeking for a russianspeeking
woman, and asking her to take such a great risk,
leaving “everything” behind, I have to
comply and devote myself to marriage. And to dedicate
my life to HER only.
He was the first president to regularly play “rock music”, due to his youth.
This music
also gave that impression of freshness, of renewal, on
his nights victory in 92 when
the song from Fleetwood Mac took all the attention
(“Don’t Stop”).
best skills any american president showed up with. He
has had the luck with growing
economy, but did himself much for having it that
way. He did much for lowering crime.
as he should be “considered” a member of every
family), the first young man from the
sixties, becoming president of the United States
of America.
fanatic adversaries. The most part of the american
people just like him. He’s a renewal
(see “Macchiavelli”).
while under his desk was playing Kennedy jr. That
other picture “sadly enough, after
being shot by some idiot”, when Kennedy Jr. saluted
his father as a welltrained soldier.
whole, he filled it up (it went so far, and I’m
somewhat exaggerating of course, he
would have had sexual intercourse with a “thermos
botlle” disguised as a females
vagina. When Clinton gets an opportunity, his pants
fall down. As he’s a model figure
he has to give the right example ALWAYS !. Now he lost
any moral thrustworhthiness.
is gonna be next ? Are they gonna put a device in the
Clinton toilet, to record the noises
of the things he get rid of there ? (see
“hypocrisy”).
By the way : in January 00 saw a part of an interview with Lewinsky on CNN in
the Larry
of speaking and still being so spontaneous. Wow ! ...
I like my woman to wear nice cloths, in which she feels good and that expresses
her
personality. It could also be she likes to wear
freetime clothing. Whatever she likes to.
cloths of an american indian squaw, I would
simply adapt, and dress up as a male indian
with a warpainted face, preparing to fight against
General Custers soldiers.
naked in public, nothing more. This disinterest exists
from my youth on. Not that I don’t
want to change regularly, but mostly don’t have
somebody to impress to with cloths,
don’t have the time, don’t like to shop alone. Can
wear cloths till they fell apart, or wear
shoes till my toes see daylight. Coats : I have the
habit to wear those from my father (any
time he decides to buy another, I get the used one).
Luckily he has a very good taste.
choose them. Because she’s gonna have to look to them
and enjoy the sight. But I’m
not gonna wear a tuxedo with a helmet while we are
shopping on a weekday.
(neck)tie, certainly not a bow tie (England : “dicky
bow).
body : and further on, what’s inside that body. What
beauty does the brain of that body
contain.
and therein the wonderful textwriter “Word 2000”. And
3 monitors (19 inch). And since
23rd nov 99 member of Internet (see end of
this page).
about 4 Gb, with windows 98, Microsoft Office 7.0,
textwriter “Word 7.0). And 2 monitors
(21 inch). No internet there. To prevent anybody of
serving a whole day instead of doing
policework. Right now (12.03.00 decided to buy me a
new and much more capable computer
a Pentium III : 750, 128Mb RAM, 17Gb, ...).
you. Without any games, because I just don’t have the
time.
One of my higher qualities. Meeting the right and therefore interesting people,
activates
this creativity skill even more. Would be certainly
creative in the constant finding of
other ways to surprise my wife : with attentions, but
also with unattedded things
like : ..... I am not gonna mention them, otherwise it
wouldn’t be that surprising
anymore. I know one thing already : there is one
female person I want to “overwhelm”
with attention and presents : my future
wife.
Am not at all that type of man. When I am given a nail and a hammer, it already
happened
bathroom, hall and toilet. Removed one chandelier
from my personal kabinet. Am just
using a (writing) desk lamp instead. Every room
in my apartment is wallpapered. And
done on a frequent basis, just to keep the household
in order and the apartment clean.
For me it’s just wasted time. Like vacuum-cleaning,
doing the dishes, whipe off the dust.
Especially in my youth I was a real dreamer. Could go to a dancing. Sat there
for hours on
attracting and beautiful women who were present.
Always had the feeling I had to play
somebody else : the macho-type of man. This at that
time was the general attitude to try
to win some woman’s attention. As I don’t
like to play somebody else than me - I’m an
energetic but more peaceful kind of guy - mostly
kept myself on the dreaming road of the
beautiful music. I can say that I had a
difficulty making communication with the women I
really liked. I was still so green and unexperienced,
due to my rather severe and “kept
away-from-anything” youth. Always have had and still
have the fear of being turned down
by a woman. When in the past I regularly proposed to a
beautiful girl, just to have a
dance, I regularly was refused, just like so
many other men were. But I just hate that
feeling. I am that type of guy that almost never takes
an initiative concerning getting to
know a woman. Being a dreamer, especially in my youth,
thought that fate would let
me somehow get in close contact to my “wonder”-woman.
Never really looked after
such a woman. Coincidence didn’t provide me with that
chance to meet the right
woman yet. In that time of my youth there still wasn’t
the possibility (that came only much
later) that the women themselves had special dances,
or when the announcement was
made : “now it’s the woman’s turn to invite a person
to dance with”. This should have
been more easy to me. Because I directly would have
known which one was interested in
me. More information about “that communication
problem” = personal and e-mail stuff.
Today I’m changed of course - know life due to my experiences - but still have
inside me
that ability to dream away. Mostly when hearing
beautiful “romantic” music. And also
when I have my own periods of “filosophical thoughts”
about the world and life itself.
As I can still dream away, I possess a great deal of fantasy. Life is so
material and egoistic,
that I consider having much fantasy as a special gift.
It develops easily. I’m also always
busy writing down on little peaces of paper some
thoughts that might be handy. Like
citations or humouristic remarks I can use later on.
A guy who worked the greater part of his career in the port of Antwerp. When he
got his
pension he was a “dockmaster”, captain of a towboat in
the inner harbour of Antwerp.
gave me. The kaliber of a George Foremanpunch in his
best days. In his own way he has
and is always there to help when necessary. Now
badly enough suffering the age illnesses.
different girls came to ask him, if he would “consider”
to join them to go out with.
my mother. She’s attractive but hasn’t that charisma,
that certain magic of my father.
measure, I have not that many friends. But the ones I
have, I have no secrets for. At
work for instance I got to know better the man, who is
responsable for the building,
as well as for the whole computernetwork. We don’t see
each other after work, but
he’s a real friend. Another one at work is somebody
who works in the very heart of
our precinct headquarters, and who is an officer
receiving the daily cases of brought
in vilains and crooks or those who want to make a
complaint. He has the gift of a
very special kind of humour I like. Before I let
somebody into my somewhat close
world (of fantasy and dream, but also reality of
course), I have to be really sure about
the trust and reliability of the other.
Love a real English Chesterfield couch. As I still have a cat with sharp claws,
can’t buy
one. But I’m gonna have one one day, and in real
leather. Love library closets. Apartment
is full of them. Even in the bedroom. Love dark
oak-furniture and dark coloured wood.
In my living room for instance there is a big sight of
a sunny forest.
(never was trained like a real pro). This means
I know I can go “in the red”, but only
a short time. Want to keep my body in good shape.
finishing line, there was no medal given anymore after
the finishing line :-). Each year
they organize one “10-miles-race”
in Antwerp.
time about 3.37’ and worst time : my last ran marathon
of 98 : about 4.17’. These runs
are only freetime enjoyment and to keep my body in
good chape. The preparation is not
that difficult. But you have to have run hundreds of
training kilometres and live
healthy. As a distant runner, since 98, I kept
on with my habit to run usually on Sunday or
could say I ran 4 half-marathons every month.
arrival of mister Internet on nov 23th 2000, writing
to you, even much lesser time.
the other around in the air. Something like “Kung-Fu”.
Like to do balance exercises.
without my other foot touching the ground, and
then pushing up again till standing position.
but it isn’t. It is just a question of habit and
regular repeatment. Just the same as running
a marathon. It only takes time to train. But everybody
can do it. Those who are staying in
psychiatric hospitals, in solitary confinement, would
have some problems, but that’s a
minority. Even they could do it, assuming they keep on
running in the right direction.
considered personal and e-mail stuff.
A part of my character is the giving part. Enjoy it all the time when I can
give small
attentions to persons I like. Even without a relation
or even without knowing each
other very well. One of my other principles is
that I always find a way to give something
back, when somebody helped me first. At work my
Chief, the second in command of our
precinct, gave me that much appreciation, I
wanted to level. I just gave him one of
my favourite “caps”. A cap mentioning “Chief” in
golden letters and with great golden
“laurel leafs”. I never wore it myself. Such kind of
appreciation from a so higher ranked
is seldom. It has the advantage that it brings
the best out of you, and keeps the momentum
of work going on (and even better). Earlier this
year I gave our retiring commissioner
two very big portraits of him. He has always supported
me so much, all those years, I just felt
himself is still on a higher level studying the Dutch
language, has helped me so much
with my computer and with Russian, that I one day
just gave him a book, I only by
occasion opened. That book had a special personal
meaning. It was a book about “Dutch
special language from the past, specific Dutch
expressions. Some kind of “slang”-language.
like to read it, I can always ask him to have it back
for a while. As a student Dutch in his
last but one year (all but last), he needed it more
than I, I thought. And I gave him the
book. Just like that
At work, we have the use of a Smith & Wesson .38 with 6 bullets and two
more rounds.
city property. Never during street duty, not even
the smalliest part of a bullet left my
revolver. I only had to take it out of his holster
once. This was after a call concerning an
empty house, where some naughty people should have
penetrated in. Going inside I had
my weapon in hand, ready to use, but no finger on the
trigger. It was false alarm. So, over
here it is not like in police movies, or like in
great Russian cities.
practically felt in the outside air in our
“prostitute” center. A center of our precinct. In
possible. Experienced my parents just not talking to
each other for 3 days. Simply
unimaginable. I know in life, even between very close
partners, tensions can rise, but
speak about them, or when not wanting to, just let the
partner know, there’s something
bothering the other.
: when a movie
doesn’t have a happy ending. Just can’t have it. Then I’m always
going outside unsatisfied. And crying like an unborn
baby. Something is missing then.
have one of course : The life of Hitler, The life of
Stalin, or the life of Shikatilo (one of
Russia’s national heroes).
Hate Jazz, heavy metal Rock, abstract music en typical classic music. And easy
beautiful
classis music played on instruments totally wrong
tuned.
Hate it in any form. Made one exception. In this exception I am a greater
serial killer (and
only kill women) than M. nice guy : Shikatilo. When
the summer approaches, also
approach some real “pains in the asses” : the
mosquito’s. This goes that far, that if I even
suppose there should be a mosquito hiding between a
vase, I throw at it with all the
force I’ve got. This problem has been solved. But
I have no vases anymore. I’m happy to
call myself a serial killer. If nature provides
an animal to suck my blood, and leave me
with days of itchingproblems, I have the right to
defend me against that intruder. I had
my apartment wallpapered in every room, even
the smallest. Everywhere a certain
pattern is recognizable : red dots. The
places I smashed the mosquito’s to their happy
hunting grounds (those words they use when
american indians go to their particular
cemetaries). In the summer I naturally sleep with
the window open, but with a
device into the (plug-)socket with a tablet
of anti-mosquito smell.
hate to take a shower/bath with my cloths on.
consider “glasses” a part of it. When my wife wants me
to change
glasses, I’ll do it. When she prefers I wear
“contact”-lenses. I’ll try again.
Hate it thoroughly. Once “really” lied to, I can never again have the same
trust in a
person. Then something broke up. Especially when it is
“hurting” dishonesty. I am VERY
sensitive to those situations. When my wife should get
involved in an affair - I’m gonna
have problems to try to find ways to applaud the
situation - but that she says so, when it
starts. Naturally I’m not looking forward to that
situation.
don’t like to meet each other. The same relationship
with my duster. We leave each other
alone. And the kitchenfat between the ignition
devices, is slowly mummifying. My
shower curtain was exceptionally beautiful, with a perfect
design. It’s somehow difficult
to see the design nowadays. Suppose I’m lying in bed,
lying on my back, the light still on,
looking to the ceiling. When I should then open my
mouth and blow in the direction of
that ceiling ? I would immediately have to find a
shelter, for all the dust and plaster that
would fall down. A shelter under the pillow, because I
should have to cut me in half
sideways to be able to shelter under the bed. Just my
cat manages to get under it.
appreciation with a rolled up newspaper (to carefully
knock with).
I love to hear melodic or good-composed music. Many times, lying in my bed, am
busy
hearing music in the background. In such circumstances
I will never blow my breath into the
direction of the ceiling (see before). Have there a
small stereo, with double cassette deck
and CD-player. Every time I hear a favorite song, or a
music theme I particularly like,
manner I produce a cassette of precious valour
to me, with all my favourite music on.
make them feel “at ease” (because some of them
are quite nervous, having to give a
declaration).
contains worthless music. Every CD has tracks who
are “shit”. Handling my way, I
myself make my favourite music cassettes, with
continuous good music I like the most.
Had the habit to do the same on videocassettes. Had one completely filled with
favourite
songs performed on TV, with most of all the begintunes
(begintune sometimes as wel
as the endtune) of all kind of TVprogrammes and films.
Of course only the tunes I like
the best. This ended already some time, due to study
and the fact that one of my two
video-recorders, decided to be frank. He just want
cooperate no more (technical failure).
On my nighttable CD I mostly use to display Russian CDRom’s. But strangly
enough I
seem to always find some excuses to avoid hearing
them.
with internet in my office at home). Will make it
a habit to listen every evening at least
one hour (when there is no net confusion) to
“RFE/RL Live (channel 4)”. This is a russian
radio station on the air for 24 hours. Can’t
understand it, but my last year’s teacher
said it helps : just listening. Of course, there are
sentences I can understand, but mostly
my ears register some sort of “Chinese” dialect,
still to be discovered.
Have the habit to attach me to things that get a symbolic meaning. It can be
very silly.
operational. I attach on photographs concerning good
memories. Can dream away seeing
pictures of the past. But can also give them away when
I think it serves a good cause (see
“give”).
and drink at least one larger cup of herbstea with a
coffeespoon of honey. And at least
2 pieces of fruit. At work at noon I don’t eat, but
usually eat some other fruit pieces.
a short. And shoes of course. And a walkman waith
romantic music. Like to
run alone. You then can concentrate on your own rhythm
in the company of the music
you prefer. If my wife should want to run with me, why
not. I adapt. And when she’s
too tired I will keep on running, carrying her on my
back. Until I have to be taken to
hospital for exhaustion symptoms.
to go to parties, want to be the first there (don’t go
their anymore while alone).
much that I nearly look like an american marine.
Meaning : don’t have to go that often
then. After that it takes about three months to let it
grow until it reaches the
before-mentioned curling stage. My wife can
decide how my hair is gonna look like.
very cold in wintertime.
ries around, and work in several documents at the sime
time. Member of internet
since Nov 23rd 00. Danger of computer
addiction !
official marathon a year. And gonna run at least every
week on sunday morning a half
maraton on my own. If my wife wants her to stay near
her on sunday mornings,
get a punch on my nose when she does not like that.
good comedies, ...
stories. When it rains, and not wearing an umbrella, I
prefer to stay home, or go to
a cosy tavern or restaurant.
discovering.
From nature I am very homeward bound. As I have been a bachelor the most of my
life I am used to make my own meals, to keep my place
as clean as possible. I have to
laugh now. Just one moment, before I am able to
continue. Still can’t stop laughing.
the household : NO, NO, NO : woew !!!!
“Woew” is a non-existing word, but that I cry
out to express my discust for something.
I’m never gonna win a price for keeping my
household in order.
that case I won’t go to the official price-giving
ceremony. So it can only get better ! Heard
russian women are very good housewifes and can cook
like a mastercook in an exquisite
restaurant. But my future woman is not obliged at all
to do the housework. She doesn’t
has to be able to cook. When she wants to, I
would appreciate it very much.
anything : for dinner or supper, to have a walk,
have a run, have a climb (?), take her out
to shop, to have a drink, to have any food she
wants to eat (see also “relations”). Life
insects I’m not gonna try to eat. Perhaps a try,
but then a very little try. Just the thought
alone makes my teeth want to escape from my
mouth. In such a case, first with my eating
fork, I would have to try to catch that
insect. An insect, that is running around my eating plate,
trying to save its life ! Or perhaps,
on the basis of human principles, I could try to drown it
in my soup plate first, and then put it in
my mouth : bweeuaakkk ! ! ! ! “Bweeuaakkk” is
a self-invented word to also express my disgust.
After all, I like animals. But no spiders,
and certainly no mosquito’s.
Just like to say things to make other persons feel happy or laugh. Many people
appreciate
it. Quickly found out that many people over here,
don’t have the habit to give much
compliments to each other. When I give 2 compliments
to a person, rather quick one after
another, it is most of the time considered as “are you
daring making fun out of me ?”.
criticism. What follows is no joke at all : have
experienced throughout my life that my
reaction. This page could be interpreted that way. But
I can’t change my character
anymore. It’s a part of my lifestyle. Back to those
malinterpretations.
pleasant, only that, somehow the other(s) didn’t like
what I’ve said. They were very angry,
and I very often had to run for my life (no joke
about the misinterpretation). Advantage :
Even my mother says my humour is very particular. And
can be misunderstood.
Don’t like it. Best example I can think of right now is the
“Clinton-Lewinsky”-saga.
rightfully, I must confirm), the way things eventually
were worked out, are a model of
hypocrisy. As I regularly follow politics, I know that
all those puritanical
“conservatives” wants the real values in life back.
Away with everything unfaithful, not
cheating with one’s wife anymore, away with every form
of pornoghraphic publishing
or acting. What did they themselves do : they
decided to put every dirt part of the Clinton
saga on the worldwide web. For the whole world
to read it. With details and everything.
the opportunity, (and still does I think), to
read all that dirt. That dirt the conservatives
are so worried about. For me that is hypocrism in
the highest degree. What one can do to
get some other down. Awful !
nothing else than handling the Lewinsky-Clinton
affair. Especially the house didn’t do
anything for the peoples welfare, or to effectively
deliver some legislative work. No, they
were fixed on getting ways to put Clinton completely
down. If they could have, they
would have digged his grave and put him in it : alive
!
what he did in public office was wrong, is it even
thinkable to put the “so-called”
most powerful man in our present world, on the net,
explaining in detail about his
sexual acts (how many times did she put her mouth
around it, how many times did
he put his “smoking”-cigar inside her !). It’s
like a devout catholic, seeing the pope
being filmed, when he’s going to the toilet an do his
thing, after pulling up all his skirts.
Cannot stand it in any way. But reached the age of wisdom. Can place it into
the
right perspective now. More than 15 years ago,
... injustice. At that time, ...
(considered personal = e-mail-stuff).
... now a happy married Belgian and has 3 kids. ...not
been worthless.
conscious tells you to act in a way you think
is the only possible right one. When you
can prevent somebody, to have a miserable or NO
life at all, and you now see that
person is as happy as she can possibly be, I .... Of
course, this was more than 15 years ago.
Everest, I’ll try to be on top with her. After
hundreds of thousands of tears of fear.
Like first of all to lead a cosy life. For the moment I stay most of the time
at home (to
study and to proceed with more and more e-mailing
{danger : internet-addiction}).
the Kloosterstraat 151/B3, 2000 Antwerpen, Belgium,
in early 79, I fixed up my
apartment the way I liked it the most. Logic :
everybody would do the same. Every wall is
wallpapered. The roof wall isn’t. In the
living room : orange brick (just looking as the
real thing), in my own studyroom : grey rockstone
and one hugh side of Manhattan at
night (not much seen anymore because
of three library closets). In the bedroom : grey
bricks. There is also a big library closet, and a
simple but rather great view of a seebatlle
of the middle ages, hung above my bed.
One of those ships is called after ....
Will never loose my job. I’m still of that generation of appointees of
the personnel of
the city of Antwerp who are “statutair”. This
means I’m death sure I’m never gonna
ever lose my job, until my pension. Already
quite some years ago, new people who
seeked for a city job were less
fortunate. They could have a job, but only on a
contractual base. They can anytime be asked to
bend over rather deep, and then be kicked
out. But “statutory personnel” have the
great advantage, that they have to do something
really bad to get fired.
more molotov cocktails in Antwerps most famous
museums, while doing it naked.
Or blow the city up with 15 atomic bombs (or more).
It could be that the order of mentioning underneath - between 3 and 8 - is
somewhat
different. But that’s not so important to get the
allround picture.
(68).
or “light devices” to the very bottom of every
ship that sailed into the drydock for
repairing. Was raw and hard work with people, most of
them low-profiled.
was necessary below the ship-inside. Then we had to
use more safe, but THICK and
heavy cables. Often they had to be pulled up through
the front bow whole of the ship.
this task coming up, we played hide and seek with our
boss in the whole ship. And
our boss losing weight trying to find us. As I like
great ships, it was a pleasure to go
around in them. Usually then we asked some stewart to
get us a package of cigarettes.
right “light-device” on the right place, that was
really adventurous. But very often
fishing ships from the very North came in. In their
pipelines the smell was nearly
unbearable. For such special tasks we were payed
extra.
constantly working on cars, who never stopped passing.
Worked in
the painting department and had to paint - with a
great electric painting device - only
on 3 specific small places of every car that passed. I
wore then a special suit, due to
the paint-gasses, who were not that healthy. I
had to see through a kind of astronaut
helmet. At the end of every day my body was covered
all over with a very tiny coat of
grey paint. I had to take a thorough shower after every
working day. The most boring
job I ever did. Just putted the brain out of
work, doing all the time the same repeated
movements. Charlie Chaplin’s movie “modern times” is
just a great example of
such kind of brainless work.
ARMY :
enlisted as member of the “territorial belgian staff”
(daily work : type one letter
before noon, and one in the afternoon {no joke at all}
). Those were the days !
7. After ARMY back to “General Motors”.
the Antwerp City.
8. “Department of Education of Antwerp”,
administration, Hofstraat 17, 2000 Antwerp
list of all those who passed the exam for clerk. So I
very quickly could start as a clerk in
the administration of the department of
education. Had to leave because meanwhile,
succeeded an entrance exam for the “OCMW”. Without
political help ! It was one
degree higher than clerk, and a better-paid
function of course. I now not use political
influence anymore. Reached everything I wanted to
reach. Except my last goal :
marriage.
“minderbegoeden”,
Lange Gasthuisstraat 33 and later the opposite streetbuilding
(the only one) in a great incoming hall.
Working period 1976 till end of 1981. In the
last year there, my oldest sister started a
relationship with a policeman. He convinced
me to try to pass the police entrance-exam. In
the OCMW at that time I didn’t had
the possibility to follow eveningschool to become
social assistent. That possibility
only came much later. It was just a
day-to-day administrative task. Being a host for
everybody (as receptionist on one great desk in a
great hall), that part I liked very,
very much. What could be better ?
for my somehow “failed” armypast. I still felt
this part of my life unaccomplished.
consideration. The fact that I then thought
I could effectively help injustice to slow
down made me crawl, no : jump over
the decision line, to try to become a policeman.
present task gives me that chance.
10. “City of
Antwerp”, police force, Lange Nieuwstraat 40, 2000 Antwerpen.
the precinct known
for his Russian criminal-related environment and also for its
famous
“Schipperskwartier”(name for several streets were all the prostitutes
are concentrated).
Followed a specialization year and led for two years a traffic
section
(street duty during the day as well as overnight). From 1st
oktober 1997
a total
policereformation took place. Because of my Russian studies, it was
more
appropriate to get a
more regular day job. Now I even have a little freedom
to
indicate my own
working hours. No nightwork anymore (only 2 days a month
with a service from
14-22 hours). And for now I have the possibility to work one
during weekdays. With them I make appointments on
those 2 weekenddays.
hours. Can start
at 7, 8, 9 or 10 or 12. Have to work
8 hourdays. So I can finish
work respectively at 15, 16, 17 or 18 or 22. My
boss, a deputy commissioner, goes
on final leave within 1,5 years. Probably he is not
gonna be replaced by somebody
having his high ranking. It might be very possible
that even I then could supervise
that mall part of the department I’m working
in. My boss has just passed an
operating on his eye. They didn’t take it
away, he still has both eyes, and more
important : they still work. He got a new lens
and now recovers at home, lying down,
hearing beautiful music, smoking a big cigar
and having a great whiskeyglass at hand.
to make people laugh. Just a pleasure and honour to
work close with. In our particular
part of department remains a
civilian and me. So, I’m tired lately ! And still follow
two
evening-schools
(3 evenings every week). See “school : present”.
JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY
When I was still wearing “pampers” – a sort of baby protection to prevent your
shirt
and trousers to get wet - he was my idol. Later when I
knew more about his public life,
thus while in office, my respect disappeared of
course. His early years as a political
newcomer I will always adore. The way he came over, to
everybody but especially to
women. The honesty he seemed to show to everybody. His
charm in his way of behaving.
lost in this world for weeks (no joke). Would I cry
when a girl I know ... stops any contact.
face whatever danger that is coming to her. If
necessary, by knocking down her ennemies.
rather try to warn him severely per postcard. What did
I say : knocking down ? I’m
against violence ! If she’s really handled in an
injust matter by anybody, lower than 1.65
and more the herringbone type, one right uppercut
wouldl be sufficient. Or maybe a
second one to be sure. Or a third to make it
completely sure. That man should sleep un
unexpected sleep, for at least 4
hours.
Followed this short fairy tale from the late eighties until her tragic
“accident ?” in
outside). And she could behave so female-like. That
end of august. It shocked everybody.
love coming out of the television screen. And out of
all those wellmeant books who were
made of her.
Whatever she likes. If she does not want to learn Dutch, so the hell with it.
As long as I
can communicate with her. Even if I have to use all my
bodyparts in making gestures to
precisely indicate what I want to say to her. When she
wants to go to school I
will help her as much as I can. If she wants to get an
appointment somewhere in the
profession she likes or is “perfect” in, I will do
everything possible to get her that job.
be asked to do any particular householdtask, if she is
not wanting to. She has to enjoy
her spare time. And a housewife has lost of time to
spare. Surely when not bound to do
anything. I just need to feel much affection and care,
that’s all. But NECESSARY.
wrong word. I am against violence. I should then have
to go to prison. And I don’t like the
sort of programs they show on prison television.
And the obligation in prison to stand up
so early : bbbbrrrjaaaaakkkk ! ! ! The word
“bbbbrrrjaaaaakkkk” is a self-invented one
to again express my disgust.
Because of study purposes I nowadays only speak Dutch at work. Also with my
small
family and with the people of the shops I go to, to buy
me some food. For the rest I only
try to speak as much as possible American en
French (due to my job tasks I very often
speak American and French at work).
something naughty against the law).
Especially in the case of the naturalisation I have
to give my impression about their
ability to speak one of the Belgian official languages
(Dutch, French and German). I also have to
try and find out on what level they are already
and sufficiently integrated in our country. Also
on what level they got acquainted with
our culture. Therefore I mostly have to speak
French, and American. A great part of the
candidates still have too much difficulty with
our Dutch language. By speeking to
them, and hearing their reaction, I have to find out
what is their level of Dutch and French
(or German). In our country we have 3 (three)
official languages. The federation Belgium
is divided in two great parts. Frankly
speaking everything below the “imaginary
horizontal” line of Brussels is Frenchspeeking (part
of Belgium called “Wallonië”), and
everything above that “imaginary line” of
Brussels, till the border of the Netherlands, is
on the imaginary vertical line above Brussels.
17 new bedrooms and 14 livingroom couches. And only to
replace them, because
they were totally fallen apart and worn out.
day attention, caressing her while I possibly have to
get up before her to go to work.
getting acquanted.
quite a lot. A very huge lot. An extraterrestrial
amount of giving.
I love to do and find
it very intimate as well, just lie in bed, very near my wife. Lights out. In
the dark. A bit parted from the world. And then speaking of the nice things
that happened during the day (and a part of the night :o) )
Surely hate every sort of gambling. Made one exception. Because not
having a fortune,
game I consider the most honest. 42 balls run around
in a transparent bowl and 6 of them
are randomly chosen by the machine. You have to have
those six balls on your gambling
ticket. It’s the only way to get rich in a few
minutes. Never even considered playing on a
horse or something like that. As most of
the gambling connected kinds of playing
possibilities, the horserace part is especially
false.
move of your horse racing. Enjoying the good
weather, you are sitting hopefully and
already thinking what to do with
the money you’ve won. After the race began, you see
through your binoculars, and
you feel somewhat disturbed. Because you cannot find
your horse. Perhaps it is hiding, while running,
behind another horse. Then you hear later
after the race, that the horse you put your money
on did not start, because it catched a cold
on the way from paddock till starting line. Pure
swindle. They can find all sort of reasons
to cheat. They could say for example: “Sorry, the
horse you played on, broke his great toe
putting on his basketbalshoes, while preparing
for the race”.
One should consider that there is nothing more difficult performable and
dangerous
than to take the head of a renewal. Because someone who introduces a renewal,
has
everybody who had it good under the old system, as an enemy. While all who hope
to
have better conditions due to the renewal, only shall want to defend this
renewal tepid.
This tepidness is partly due to the fear of the opponent
of the renewal,
who has the reigning law at his side, and partly due to the unbelief off the
people.
People NOT REALLY believe in something new, untill they have EXPERIENCED
it PERSONALLY. That is why the enemies of the renewal will attack it violently
at any occasion, and the others (defenders) only will defend it without much
conviction. In this way everything becomes dangerous.
superdifficult for me to get the necessary confidence
of a marriage candidate.
I am the most fanatic opponent of marriage. Because I saw (certainly in my 7
working
years in the OCMW and my 18 years as a policeman) an
unbelievably high number of
marriages collapse, and very much of them in a bloody
fighting way. Belgian law makes
it easier now to get divorced. The real
“marriage”-values and “vows” have more
turned into a sort of “sweepstake”. Very often
the children (there is visit right between
the parted parents), are set against their other
parent or abused, or brainwashed to get an
explanation out of them. So that they declare they
won’t want to see the other parent
anymore. Horrible !
still want to give the marriage vows and principles
the attention they were ment to
receive. Have been an opponent of marriage, until
making it my last goal now. But
asking a woman to give up so much, I have to secure
her future. Marriage gives her
that security !
As I am very honest, please do not consider me at all feeling happy talking
about
marriage, with several woman candidates at the same
time (for the moment : 3). I always
had the ability to be able to quickly
decide, but a decision this worthy is not like chosing
a peace of meat at the butchers. The
first things to rely on are pictures and the contents
of e-mails. As I earlier said the face
itself does not have to be beautiful but, since I have
to look to that face for the rest of my life,
it has to have that little something, that makes
it special to me. I very much like
dark longhaired women and preferably black. Dark
hair will do also. I’m not like Rod Stewart. He only
prefers blonds.
policewomen in our force : some of them, when they
open their mouth and shout,
every building around here, starts to tremble). Of
course they all are somewhat
“manly behaving”, that comes along with the
job. But in general I mean : a woman’s
attitude I like to be very femalelike. With those
gestures only women possess the
secret of. There’s a great difference between
nicely see female fingers picking onto
a table, than a haivy female fist destroying that
table.
strictly female way of behaving, with those so
particular female little gestures.
long dress. And having breasts (they may be small :
why not, but not so small, that
they would look like the result off a heavy roadroller
having passed over them),
and so on.
Never in my life thought about marriage. Heard too much about horrible
divorces.
relation. LAT = living apart together. We saw each
other only 6 times a month.
even thought cheating on her. When I’m attached to
someone, she’s the one, the
only one. Am not at all a “women-hunter”. Writing
it is easy, but believe me :
that knowing a Russian and speak the language daily is
of ENORMOUS help.
and caring capabilities of russianspeaking women. My
russian speaking abilities
are too slowly progressing. Although I can do it one
day a week with my private
teacher. In okt 99 after giving it a long thought,
decided to take that great risk :
marriage. This means not that I am only marrying to
approve my russian. That
should be too much a risk ! NO, I want a woman for
life now. Not only do I want
her to be my wife, but she’s gonna get so much
attention, she is not going to
believe her beautiful eyes. She’s always gonna be IN
FRONT and ON THE FIRST
gonna leave her family and friends, and her job ? To
go live in a “total” strange
country, and with no insurance yet of having a job.
And with un uncertain future.
about getting started and try to get used to live
here. That’s why I, myself, for the
first time in my life am offering the marriage vows.
If my future wife is gonna take
such a big step forward towards future, I surely have
to follow. My marriage offer is
gonna secure her living and financial future over
here. And I’m offering her another
great commitment. To handle her as a lady, a queen,
for the rest of “our” life. The only
thing I ask is honesty, and willingness to receive and
give much love, affection and
care. Everything else can be spoken about. Although
having children is gonna be
a very difficult point. I like to devote my life to my
wife, TO HER ALONE.
how my mother - always busy dedicating her life to
mainly her children - never
had a life of her own. My wife is gonna have the
opposite and more. As my mother
dedicated her life for her children, I’m gonna
dedicate mine ONLY for my future
wife (but still stay myself of course, not like my
mother totally self-sacrificing
herself).
attention to, feeling that she is treated in a very
special “queenlike” way, and in
such a way she never even could think of. BUT : to
receive all this she has to be
honest, and willing to give herself much affection,
care and love !
I should consider it most logical, when a young woman thinks she could be very
seriously think about a marriage, I would go to
Russia, to her city and living place
(to meet her family). Or to some other city in
Russia and still meet her family there,
or later on, when she decides so. Depends on the
way the influence level of the family
is still high or not. This should often be the
case I think. Saw a TV-documentary about
they would even have a much more close
family contact. Russians, or russianspeeking
women of Kazakhstan, Georgia, White Russia, Ukrain,
... are known for their
great familystrength. Surely any
parent would want to have an impression of their
daughters future man. Quite obvious,
because she is about to live in Belgium.
acquainted (without any obligation of
course). And I would be mostly honoured to
receive a russian woman as a guest of honour. She
could stay at my place for free. Again
without ANY obligation of course. Advantage : she
would have a good view of the
possible future surrounding she might live in.
And above all, to have a real impression
of the guy she would consider to marry with.
And when negative, she would had the
advantage of a free trip to a foreign country ! I
already changed my very initial offer.
wife “by a way of speaking” simply could step into the
car of some other “lover” and
leave. It then would be very uncertain of her showing
up on my evening party and
my wedding night. Would I then have to drink all those
wodcabottles alone ? That frightens
me :-).
or anywhere else in her homeland. In my thoughts I can
imagine in the place where
she lives now ? I would even be prepared to have a
church ceremony, although
not a beleiver of any religion. I am even ready
to convert myself to any religion my wife
is avowing (testifying). Love makes nothing impossible
to overcome.
My preferable time of the past. Castles. Kings and Queens, …
Robin Hood with Errol Flynn without any doubt my top picture about that age.
Hate violence but love to see uniforms and decorations. This is in
contradiction with each
other. Because to earn decorations, you most probably
have to use violence first. You
don’t get the national medal of honour for breaking
the worldrecord running backwards
when the enemy shows up. It’s strange but I
always admired any form of uniform or
decoration, from my youth on. Not the uniform of
a brass-band ! My not-making it in my
officers-schooling had the opposite effect.
that admiration. And I found great compensation in
becoming a policeman. Never thought
of being a policeman. But my sister’s boyfriend urged
me to, and convinced me to learn
and just to take part in an exam to find out what I
was still capable of. Now loving my
present job.
I am usual someone who does not want to be in the headlights. I’d rather
prefere the
background. I am not looking for fame or glory. I
only seek for situations where it is
funny to be in, and where a laugh is not far away.
There exists also unfunny laughs, but
that is too great a story to tell. Away with it. Let’s
keep it simple.
moved a millimeter in my youth, she also moved a
millimeter,to see if everything was
still quite all right. Just an exaggeration to
describe the level of protection she gives
her children. And to my both sisters as well.
Although, my youngest, Debora was not
really expected and was somewhat more a free grown up
girl from early on (“spoiled”).
first thing I said when I jumped out of the plane
in Schiphol (The Netherlands) was :
would have taken the step to live on my own
much later. But one month in the company of
americans shook my known world upside down. What
a mental difference. People are
leaving to get their own life, so young
there. I’m exxagerating a little, they leave when
they can speak the words : “I want a suitcase for
my 11th birthday and I’m leaving folks”.
Great appetite. Am a dreamer you know. Now for study purposes restricted
to the
strictly minimal. Of my favourites am now only
gonna mention the abroad well-known.
“dream”-woman), Demi Moore, Melanie Griffiths, Whitney
Houston (“Bodyguard”),
“romantic”),
and the sequel : “Runaway Bride” (even only have seen
some excerpts of it).
with the same actors.
I live in a quiet neighbourhood during the day. Being not that far away of the
very center
of the old city, weekend evenings (friday night
included), can be noisy. Especially in the
summer. And then there is already that noise coming
out from all the houses around,
hearing people smash all the attacking mosquito’s to a
certain death. One thing everybody is
strictly confident of : when you smash a mosquito, the
chance that he has to recover in
hospital, is very small. In my street are two
well-known café’s : one has a sun terrace off
the streat, where people sing till late at night, and
singing while having drunk half of the
cafe stock, the quality of the repertoire is ….
(Yes ! Awfully bad).
the whole street. I’m a little exaggerating, because
most of the time the evenings over
here, in my street, are quite calm. I’m not gonna
convince a woman to share my life,
telling her she will not be able to fall asleep. Or by
telling her, she can only have some
chance to fall asleep, after being knocked knock-out
(KO). Or after having taken 365
sleeping pills. Or both at the same time :-).
Preferable neighbourhood : to live in a great villa surrounded by high trees
and quite
some land to have a paradise for me and my wife, to
get to rest in, away from that
jungle called “world”.
Have to win several consequent lotteries to make that come true (see
“lottery”).
Have had a quite “severe” education. My mother kept my away from every
possible
danger. She never lost me and my sisters out of sight.
Except at night when the lights
were out. I still remember my oldest sister and
me playing “doctor and patient” with
her. And my mother sometimes also lost sight of her
children, when she was with my father
performing pleasant things. I am a
so-called “mothers-son” (this means : educated
streets and learn life the hard way. I’m glad
I didn’t because I could have turned out to be
a criminal. And sitting out a 6-times
life sentence for killing hundreds of thousands of
mosquito’s ? No, thanks. My rather
severe education only had the disadvantage, I was not
really prepared to step into the great raw
world and life in its deepest and hardest
reality. This due to having a lack of
“socializing”, and a lack of having much contact with
people my age, during my youth. It has the
advantage, I afterwards myself had to learn real
life the hard way. It’s also the reason why I am
a “late-bloomer”person, who thinks the
best of him has yet to be shown. A
lot of people my age start already to settle down, and
some of them even “countdown” for
their retirement. Not seldom they are “burned
out ?”. This means somebody has no more ability
to get new idea’s performed in reality.
nothing more. I’m the very opposite. My best time is
still to come. My future wife is
gonna experience that every minute of every day !
shall know the language until I speak it fluently and
read it without problems. Greatest
proof : I still and very much want to achieve only
one other thing : marying an affectionate,
caring and especially an honest and loyal woman.
Will dedicate the rest of my life to my
future wife.
above all NEW and constant initiatives and ABOVE ALL,
always be ready to use my
creativity and fantasy to surprise my wife, to protect
her in any way, to arrange for her
a future so that she won’t have to worry about
anything anymore, and to just make things
for her, as easy and happy as possible. That is
my last goal in life. Not an easy one, but
when I set me a target, no-one is gonna
stop me from trying to achieve it. When my wife,
by mistake or on purpose, should throw me
under a very fast train, or put my head in the
oven to fry for at least one hour, this process
of achievement is gonna be abruptly stopped
of course, but I try to convince myself she’s not
going to do so :-).
In my OCMW-period I fastly found out my chief was a poet in his free
time.
circumstances I stopped. Found out I can write very
poetic inspirated letters in Dutch
to someone I care a lot for. And artists many times
have weird habits. My chief also had
rare habits. Used to turn his head around and around
clockwise or otherwise, even when
an important office meeting was going on. He let his
head roll from his chest over his
shoulder along his neck and so coming back to his
chest (no joke). Artists not seldom are
different. They like to think different, act
different. In that way I’m an artist too : I want
to dedicate the rest of my life to somebody.
And be constantly creative in finding ways to
please my future wife.
the activity of me working, and the observation of the
other people working on the same
floor. Very weird and also showing that in those days,
practically everything was
possible. When you have that protection of being a
statutory member of the personnel
(the OCMW-personnel has the same statute as
the personnel of the city of Antwerp),
some people could easily take advantage from it,
without punishment. At the OCMW
meaning nothing.
work, drunk a cop of coffee, and had a chat
with the people of the department. Then he
took a file, probably empty and went for
a walk in all the other departments and talked all
day to everybody - who wanted to listen -
about ordinary things. Just before closing time
he got back in the department he should work all
day, drunk another coffee and had to
hurry to get his cup cleaned. Because it was time to
get home. Then he put his coat back on
again and went home. I can tell about very
variations of this phenomenon. I do not want
this page to get huge, thus I will keep the
examples very short.
know him better. Usually after work I went to have a
few bears, just sitting on the
counter. One of those café’s was a meeting place for
theatre actors. They often spoke
great parts of their actual play. That policeman very
soon knew about my habit to
simply waste my time sitting on the counter of taverns
and café’s. He said : why don’t you
study and try to become a policeman as I am, instead
of losing that useless time almost
every day, having some drinks (only bear). This was
already quite some time after my
“military” service (70-71), and I saw the chance for
having a job in a uniform at last,
and especially my wanting to do something more usefull
in society. There was the
possible chance to fight against injustice on a daily
basis.
the job myself. I chose Antwerp, because I live
there, and foremost because Antwerp
has the policeschool, with the greatest
reputation in Belgium, and the schooling
lasted the longest (one year).
Honesty goes above anything and I practice it
constantly. I NEVER lie
(Exception : I do not think that a litlle lie on
behalf of the person you are lying too, is something negative).
from sight and have a minimum of contact with. But who
I consider so precious, because
of their positive influence on others. People who are
just enjoying their every day work
and make that of others pleasant and happy. Again this
habit of mine is not always
accepted as serious. People just are not used to get
something just like that.
Avoid being in the company of people, who only can feel themselves good,
annoying
others or nagging them ALL the time.
Hate to live in a neighbourhood without future and with the certainty of
getting a bad
health. For example I can live anywhere (if connected
to the right female, she just can
make me follow her everywhere). But even then I surely
won’t settle and live in a house
behind, for example, one of those Tsjernobil reactors.
Or on the side near the top of a
volcano. I
would never know when my wife and I would receive a rather very warm but
unpleasant welcome. Besides, I have fear of heights.
I will
never except children of other men. Thus my wife has to be childless, when we
marry.
“keep it silent”, NO, speak it out, directly “throw”
in on the table, so that surely the
partner knows what is going on. If sometimes even that
is impossible, then just say to
your partner you cannot speak about it. So he knows
about it and can adapt himself,
knowing the other is having a difficult time. And
she or he wants to get out of it herself,
with no help from others even without help from
her of his partner. At least the partner
is knowing what is going on. And can respect
her or his behaving, knowing what she’s or
he’s going through.
persons. When at work you could be nagged by a person
but without reaction to him/her
because you fear any other unpleasant reaction of
him/her. Some time later you meet
another person, totally innocent and respectable, who
knows nothing about that
“incident” you were the victim of. But that incident
still “disturbs” you, because you
didn’t have the time yet to let off steam. Then
it happens very much you work that steam
off on that innocent person. That’s the wrong way
of handling things. It can be devastating
in relationships. Behaving like that (even
“unconsciously”) is introducing or letting
“dangerous poison” slip inside the relationship.
was most of the time alone every day. My father was
constantly surrounded by people. He
was the captain of a towboat in the inner harbour and
was the chief of the personnel
under him (three men). When he got come he wanted
to be left alone for at least a half
hour, after having all the “stress” of that
working day. My mother, however – having been
alone most of the day – being a housewife - was
just waiting to see him, and very much
wanted to receive some attention. She only got an
avoiding reaction. Fundamentally
wrong of course !
normal fashion. NEVER is MY wife getting that sort of
treatment. NO, she’s gonna be in
the centre of the picture. When she wants to be on her
own, allright, but that she says so.
my father, who was the only one working in our family.
My wife is gonna have A LIFE OF
all the affection she seeks for. SHE SURELY IS NOT
GONNA BE THE “SLAVE” OF A
alone most of my life. Never liked being married,
always liked the freedom to say :
the 11 years of my relationship (sep 88-aug
99) with Lizy (43), that I am very able to
adapt. But it turned out more “a one-way
road”, and the feeling we just were growing
apart of each other. Even with all our agreements.
Marrying someone is for life. Thus
it needs some “chemistry”. The only thing I seek is
the constant will of my partner to
give me much affection and care. Then you are going to
get the best out of me forever.
met (no joke). So I’m used to have an honest partner I
can totally trust.
very common dishes, self-prepared, my wife doesn’t
have to cook well. I WANT HER TO
“retirement”. She barely makes time for TV or to read
something !
I learned to listen to people with problems. Although I like very much to speak
myself,
to a problem of somebody else. Maybe one time, perhaps
two times, but that’s enough,
then it’s over. In my first (and only) relation with
“Lizzy”, for 11 years she asked my
advice for a particular problem of hers (very quiet
type). Every time in those 11 years I
was ready to react normally and every time we
spoke about it, viewing it from different
angles. Just trying to find for her a way to cope with
it for a while. Because the problem
always showed up again. I was not always in the mood
to do so. When I knew that when
my partner had a problem I knew also that I
wouldn’t have a good time being with her.
relationship (and dedication) means caring for
each other.
Loyalty is another priority. When I dedicate myself to somebody it is
unconditional and
total. I expect the same from my future partner.
Instead of talking badly behind someone’s back, or to quarrel for nothing (some
people
just try to get other people nervous {here they say :
“on their horse”}) just for the
enjoyment of it. Those people I avoid to be in
contact with. Instead I love to give
compliments and look at life positively, even if
reality is sometimes not that pleasant.
A woman is equal to a man and has the same rights.
Without comment. It is obvious.
Caring about each other is very important. Giving great affection to my wife
and
expecting the same back is a realistic dream : but has
to be a certainty when the dream
comes true. In my whole life until now only felt
butterflies twice ! When I felt butterflies
(very unverifiable intense uncontrolable feelings for
a female) for the first time,
(here they say for ‘a first love’ : “a puppy
love”) and sat for a whole year next to that girl
(called Rita Verhaegen), I could her make
laugh very easily and very frequently. Some
say easily making a woman laugh is already having the
aim of reaching her heart, half
done. Rita is the first of two woman I ever cried
for (cry of happiness just thinking about
her, on hearing the song “Loving Arms” from
Elvis). I was just counting off the seconds
until the next lesson, to be able to just sit beside
her. And laugh all the time. Untill the
teacher threw a wet sponge at us. Usually I threw it
back so that his glasses felt off.
album, the picture below. Thereon the picture in the
middle. As I write this down she is
still working on the same floor of the police
precinct where I’m positioned (she is a
civilian member). It’s totally different, because
whe totally don’t know each other. She’s
somehow unbelievably unreachable for everybody at
work and she is very mysterious.
that woman and her huge personality. I even wrote her
poetic and humouristic lettres for a
short while. Meanwhile she already gave me about 12
direct NO’s (yes, 12 uppercuts
hurting me, but not in the same level, as after having
a relationship). And as explained, from
my very youth on, I hate No for an answer ! Especially
emotionally. But that’s just the way of
life. She already had the kindness to say : “things
are never gonna work out between us”.
to give compliments, and can’t live normally without
constantly giving compliments. I’m
not her type and I just have to accept that. Case
closed. After all she still got me that far that I took
a little initiative : what I NEVER do. I’m that kind
of man, not a hunter at all, who just
awaits his luck. When that russianspeaking woman
appears and wants to marry, then, concerning
taking initiative, I’m gonna develop into an
initiativetaking machine : “bottoms-up” and “top-bottom”.
have no relationship at all. Or want to cherish
her freedom ! Or has other plans or ways to enjoy
her emotional and “love”-life. However, those
feelings for her stay, even knowing they will never be
answered. Never experienced that before.
human being. With a personality I admire. And there is
nothing about her I dislike (not knowing
her : behaving, manner of speaking, the
looks, her kind of humour remarks, and so on : just marvellous
!
for having the patience to read it all ! ! !
on a woman I love, and certainly a woman who
gives me much affection : and certainly when that
future woman is gonna be my future wife ! I never
cheated, and never ever will do. It’s one of my
life principles as well (also read “principles”).
I’m working as a personnel member for the city of Antwerp. In that status I am
connected
to the Antwerp police force in an administrative
function. I do not do any streetwork
anymore, since a general reformation took place on
October1st 1997.
were taken away from my “dutyprofile”. I am busy now
to receive people with a request
to receive the Belgian Nationality. They have to
fulfil to certain demands.
“rehabilitated”. This in consequence to something bad
against the law, they did in their
past. To be able to get your honour back you have
to satisfy several conditions. When
you ultimately are rehabilitated, you could for
instance regain the ability to go and find a
regular job.
Very soon a new chief (Commissioner) will take over the command in our “Zone
West”
(= the West Side of Antwerp). As they say : new
bosses-new laws. It’s gonna be a commander
of only 33 years ! The youngest appointed in Antwerp
ever ! I’m giving him all my trust.
with that new boss. He confirmed I could hold my
place. Not only that, but when my direct higher
ranking boss shall retire after 1,5 years, I could get
then supervision of the small department
members. So I am not only assured of holding my
present function and to stay in the
precinct untill my Russian studies are over. I have
now also the perspective that I will have
the responsibility of “de plichtendienst”, a part of
the LOT-TEAM (LOT-TEAM =
secretary services and plichtendienst). And I can hold
my self-bought buro at work and
my self-bought computer and 2 monitor screens (22”).
With “windows 98” and the
textworker “Word2000” on it. I can blindly type
russian on an AZERTY keyboard. When
has the advantage, you directly see when you wrote
down a fault, so you can correct it
instantly, and spare yourself a lot of time. You don’t
have to correct a whole text anymore,
after first typing him only looking to the
keyboard.
Would protect my family -parents and sister- against anything. After marriage
my wife
comes FIRST. When I want to cherish and love her, and
make her life as happy as I
possibly can, nobody or nothing has to try to offend
or harm her. The Belgian army will
have to “pull out”, to get me and my wife’s opponents
separated. I accept my wife as she is.
to the future. Is she fragile, shy, never mind. I
like that as well. I will be “the rock” she
can hide behind.
whole basketballteam and only returns in the late
morning hours, I’m not gonna be
standing on the front door to give her a standing
ovation of course (loyalty is very
important ! ).
I’m a none believer. Cannot believe in any “God” or somebody or something that
let
things happen the way they do. I describe those things
unbelievably cruel and totaly
unacceptable.
responsable “butchers” are not harmed in any way, and
kept out of the court houses.
to somebody, you do it without boundaries.
Unnecessary risks : avoid them (exception : long letter to ...
Deliberate risks : - see “injustice (Aramin : e-mail stuff)”
is that it is most unusual. I could be the first
on the entire web, exposing myself the way
women, who are interested in marriage. This page
could very fast disappear in its present
form on the web. The page now only serves for
marriage purposes.
I pay a lot of attention to the romantic side of a relationship. From my early
youth on,
throughout my teenage-years, and still today, I dream
of a fairy tale-like romance.
attention for each other. Then awaiting that moment
where no words are spoken
anymore, but four lips (is it four ? Yes I counted
right : it’s four) meet each other in a
first tender kiss. When a feeling of
undescribable thrill shakes two body’s as they feel that
they want to be more close with one another. ”By
coincidence” in this case, using internet,
sadly enough, is not romantic. Hate the way I
have to proceed. E-mailing is rather frank
to propose. The inner-thoughts, the
inner-feelings count. And they have to be gradually
discovered and developed. From my part on, on
purpose, this page is ment to quickly
give the necessary information about me. If not
enough, just ask frankly for more ! I’m a
policeman, I have the age and wisdom to put things
into perspective.
found a botlle with a message inside it. This message
was ment to be a last farewell letter
to a man’s wife, who lost her during a seastorm, while
being with her on their ship. That
beachwoman found that letter so romantic and lovely,
she did research on him and
eventually found the man in a very remote small
fishing harbour, thousands of miles away.
other they developed a breathtaking love-affair.
In the end they parted, because the man
couldn’t forget his so dramatically lost wife. Of
course, having no happy end, I was not
completely satisfied. But the message inside was so
romantic.
Again, my humble asking for a somehow frank marriage-proposal per e-mail is far
from
being that romantic. But if I had the wealth, I today
would take off for a year or more
(all the time necessary) to visit most parts of
Russia. This visiting should give me
the ability to try to get to know a suitable woman. A
woman who would love to spend her
future days with me. I would then slowly try building
up a relation the way I always
wanted it to be. Reality obliges me to handle it the
present way. Sadly enough !. The
romantic part will be overcompensated later on. Be sure
of that !
Be also sure that being a romantic guy I am also very sensitive. I’m not
gonna
marry anybody, without seeing her in person for a
minimal amount of time. My probable
future wife can decide herself how things could
proceed. After all, in the first place it has
to be experienced by her as a real “fairy-tale”, the
life she wants to live.
Be sure that I can be very serious, being in the position when feelings,
between two
beloved ones, get so close and intense, that words are
somewhat unnecessary and even
“unwelcome”. The feelings alone then would tell the
story. It goes above and beyond any
possible verbal expression.
Since I never had a real thought about what I was going to be or what I was
going to learn,
being overprotected, I lived in a dreamworld and
when it was time to go to work I
was still unprepared for real life. My parents
just sent me to high school in
my case “distribution”. It was not funny during
lessons, but in our spare time it could get
warm. Especially that day, when I and I friend, in one
of the school caves, tried to smoke
in secret a sigaret. We managed to hold the sigaret
against some very dry discloths. And
the cave was full of them. We had to run away. After a
while 28 fire engines surrounded
our school, totally disappeared in smoke. The small
fire was quickly extinguished, and
the school saved. We were honest enough to come
forward. The schooldirector wanted
a small explanation. It was considered an
unintentional act, just a violation of the
prohibition to smoke at school (in those days). Today,
in some schools, they can smoke
it the class itself.
manager (sell dictionaries or key rings from door
to door). I knew quite a lot, and still
know quite a little bit of sales, and a
substantial part of the art to convince people to
deliver certain services or get rid of bad
habits.
When I left that school the schooldirector placed me in an expedition firm
(see
“job-past”).
job. The next year, students didn’t get that privilege
anymore. Privilege ? I found it funny
they placed me somewhere in an administrative
function. Totally not suitable with the
things I just learned in high school. Yes, I could
sell my willingness to make the best of
it, but it was not a salesman job. Afterwards I
didn’t even look for such job anymore. It
was a phase of my life I let the things come as
they came. That was also the reason I did so
many different jobs (see“jobpast”). Another
reason was that before “Army Duty” most
firms were not that desperate to give a job to
somebody, who was soon gonna be away for
12 months (army duty).
SCHOOL : PRESENT
Evening school Russian
1. Higher Institute for Languages, Eikenstraat, Antwerp
: every tuesday and thursday
from 18.30
till 21.00 hours (this the fourth year for “advanced students”)
2. “Volkshogeschool”, Kasteelpleinstraat,
Antwerp, every wednesday from 18 till 22
hours (the
fifth year - and I do the sixth as wel -, because it follows the
fifth year in
the same
classroom. In the sixth year I’m only a part of the furniture, but anyway
I
am able to understand a part of what the others are talking about).
not a secret for ... . In february 2000 I got in hand
(is the part after taking in account
every tax cut or special deduction : thus the part
you finally get into your hands to
spend : 71.588Bef ( = 1774,62 Euro).
Some savings (personal : e-mail stuff)
saving (sort of pensionsaving the whole life through :
details = personal and therefore
e-mail stuff).
Nothing unusual (my wife’s wishes will be fullfilled. Can adapt, but am not
that
fond of crawling around a table wearing a leather mask
and be beaten like a bewildered
animal with an iron whip). Do not like to do “ploef”
and it’s over with. Foreplay and
afterplay are at least as important to me. When there
is not enough time left, a quickie
can do of course :-).
great appetite, go on eating, can’t stop eating,
nearly eating to death. Then I should
choose “can’t stop eating”. Again, much depends of my
wife’s needs.
hours in a lonely remote country side under a hurting
sun. When feelings rise and instant
love is necessary, to satisfy those instant feelings,
then of course there is no time to
freshen up.
still undiscovered ways.
Absolutely love to caress even without the sex-part of
it.
(please e-mail for more explanation when wanted).
I do find
it very intimate also to just lie in bed, very near my wife, lights out. As a
bit parted from the world. And then
speaking of
the nice things that happened during the day (and a part of the night :o) )
interest from them. Women like me very much. I must
have something special that
attracts them all. That’s perhaps due to have
inherited a fraction of the succes my father
also has with them. Women can’t get enough of me. And
they adore me like a filmstar.
down” by them. Many males are just jealous about it.
And some males even are threatening
me, being that jealous about my success with women.
They are so jealous they want to beat
me up, give me a lesson. And give my face such a look,
that the attraction, that women have
for me, will abruptly dissappear. That I have such an
unbelievable succes with women, is
surely not gonna be applauded by my future wife
of course. It is not such a funny perspective
for her. Be sure I’m different and will only
dedicate my life to my future wife. It’s a question
about honesty, loyalty and give each other much care
and affection. Repeating myself,
cheat on my wife. I have so many potential
girlfriends, that to me personally, it’s even hard to
write this down. They follow me everywhere ! Even
in my bedroom. And the funny thing
about it is : I don’t like mosquito’s at
all.
Have two sisters. The oldest, Monique (27 may 1955), has broken with the
family.
strong dogs, usually we meet at her place. She lives
in her own little house in an outside
quarter of our city (called “Luchtbal”). With my small
motorbike I reach her in 15
minutes. Usually she picks me up in her own car.
She has a beautiful little “garden”
place. For dogpurposes she laid bricks and got
rid of the grass. She studies Chinese in
evening school. Vasco, her dog - a golden
retriever - plans to study Hebrew. And Russian.
then can inform me about it, in his own russian
barking way.
Some songtexts are perhaps more beautiful than the tune itself.
Marilyn Monroe “When I fall in love : - when I fall in
love
it will be forever
or I’ll never fall in love again
in a restless life like this is
love has ended before it’s begun, …
My first sport activity was swinging like an olympic shampion in the darkness
of my
mothers womb. As the years went by, in my spare time I
played much football everywhere
where there was some space left. Even at school, on a
playground of stones, we played
with our dayshoes, kicking a Coca Cola “closing
device” and made some imaginary
“goaltargets”. I later played in about every
football association that exists in Belgium.
“football-society” I inscribed in, began every match
with a bear (no joke). My
partnership did not last very long for obvious
reasons. So influenced by alchohol, it
happened that after the break (after 45 minutes
in a footballgame, there is a break of 15
minutes). In our case during that break other
bears were drunk. When the two teams
reappeared on the field they both tried to score
in the same goal. Silly of course. Our team
was not able anymore to find the right target. It
was heartbreaking to see. I cried like a
great baby. I have been a member of a tennisclub, a
pingpong-club and a short while of
a handball-club.
gues one after another marry and have children. The
regular party times were practi-
cally over. Again had my same habit of going to pubs,
café’s, taverns, just sitting on
the counter. Sometimes (not often) getting acquainted
with a woman, but every time very
short. Afterwards, after that depression, gave my life
a new start and started to run
(alone). Gradually lenghtening the distance and
from 1993 on started in and ended
succesfully 5 (five) marathons (93, 95, 96, 97,
98). After that stopped because could’nt
combine it with my studies. Am
a distancerunner. 21 km once a week on sunday morning
is normally my habit. Due to the study skipped
the runpart (no time any more) but at home
do much stretching and gymnastics. Want to keep
my body athletic and in the best chape.
my attention. I will look to other woman, passing by,
but thats only looking. After all
everybody may use his eyes. Согласна ? Once I feel
attached to a woman, I’m only
gonna give HER my attention. I’m different. Can’t get
involved with two woman at
the same time. Still very much believe in honesty and
loyalty.
сильные
стороны
ВЕРНОСТЬ :
буду только
иметь
внимание на
Вам. Я упустил
блестящую
возможность
в детстве.
Потому что
я слишком
«неопытный» и
девушку, на
которую я cходил
по ней с ума, в
этой время
была с другом.
Для моей
жене не
секрет, для
современного
и будущего, и
тоже для
прошлого. Я
лгу бы : манеры
сюрпризы
для жене
должны будут
оставаться
секретные.
Буду
предохранять
моей жене.
Даже когда 11 боксёры
тяжёлгог
веса перед
мной и они
пыталься бы
видеть
на моей жене !
Когда
достаточно
поздно Вы
показываете
бы склонность
к полноте,
неважный. У
меня тоже будет
бы
атлетический
(не остращу
брюшку).
Когда
где-нибудь Вы
имеете
увечье (например
всё лицо
сожгло), я не
теряю надежду,
потому что я
только
терял
наружную
красату, а
держу
внутренную
красату.
Потому что
разница
возраста для
меня не нужно
делать тот
же. Когда я
надо сидеть в
кресло для
инвалидов,
моей жене
может начать
второй жизнь.
Пожалуйста,
не
чувствуете
это как
оскорбление,
буду бы
предложение
за второй
жизнь. Но
думаю я
достигну
старости (145).
Думаю, что
фундаментальный
: настоящую
любовь,
лояльности, и
привязанности.
И надеюсь,
женщина,
которая не
играет с
чувствами. Все
другие, можно
обсуждать.
Don’t take unnecessary risks. Goes that far, living on
the second floor, I get my outside
windows cleaned by a cleaningfirm (due to my fear of heights, my dislike of
this task,
and to avoid the risk to fall down).
try to annoy one another, I only want to have an open
relationship based on
total honesty and explaining one’s problems in an
early stage !
Adore to caress, kiss and being affectionate.
Is it possible to read the following russian characters ? Warn me if you cannot
read
them. I’ll translate it in American or e-mail it
in russian as a “Word-document”.