Jack looked round at his fellow team-mates in desperation. No-one seemed willing to meet his eye. Teal'c was staring with an expression of extreme distaste at the offending object which had caused his outburst, as it dangled from between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand.

Carter, on the other hand, was smirking. Yep, that's right. His Second In Command, his supposed supporter against all things bad, the person he relied on to back him up against whatever wacky *thing* that Daniel wanted them to take part in this time, was laughing at him. Them. Him and them.

Just because - as a woman - she wasn't required to do this. All those times she complained about being left out and now - when she was given the chance to take part - she back-pedalled.

Admittedly, in her position, he'd do the same damn thing, *without* hesitation. But still… just wait until they found another one of those Shabi-wotsit cultures. If she thought *that* dress had been bad, he was sure they could find her something *much* worse….

He narrowed his eyes and glared, both at her and Daniel. It was his fault they were in this mess. He would soo not be forgiving him any time soon for this one. Carter neither, if she kept on laughing.

Catching his expression, Carter sobered immediately, schooling her expression back to polite attention.

'Yeah, you just wait missy. I'll get ya for that yet…'

Daniel fidgeted. He darted a look at Jack then hastily looked away, he glanced at the object, then away. He shuffled his feet.

Jack growled.

'Enough of the avoidance tactics!'

"Daniel," he said pointedly.

Daniel gulped and looked up, his gaze meeting Jack's briefly before sliding away to the side again.

"Um, yes Jack?"

"This is where you tell me this is all some kind of bizarre practical joke, yes?"

"Erm, no Jack."

"*No*, Jack?"

Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"It's an age-old tradition in their culture. They won't even *consider* trading with us, unless we – "

He faltered, closing his eyes. " – do this…thing."

Jack gritted his teeth. He could feel his impending doom rushing towards him with a sense of inevitability. Kind of like when you realised the light at the end of the tunnel was actually an oncoming express train.

"And we need to trade with them so badly, because *why*?"

Carter cleared her throat. Jack closed his eyes in frustration.

'Oh here we go. Let's wait for the scientific explanation as to why I have to make an idiot of myself in front of several hundred people. She's bound to have some reason…'

"Well, they do have a considerable supply of trinium, sir. Which they're willing to trade, if we – "

Jack raised his eyebrows.

" - I mean you…guys…do this. Sir," she clarified hastily.

'Yup, there we are… one ready-made scientific explanation.'

Number thirty-two if he was correct: possible supplies of valuable metal only obtainable off-world. Guaranteed to make the 'higher ups' wet their pants with joy. And offer up the negotiators for said resource as sacrificial lambs, so long as we get. The. Damn. Trinium. Oy….

So no help from that quarter. In that moment Jack knew he was lost. But damn it! He was *not* gonna give in to public humiliation without a fight….

"I don't care *how* much trinium they've got, Carter. I'm *not* wearing a thong!"

TBC

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