Blonde throws a hand grenade

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back

Amuse a blonde

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Blonde and moped

What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Blondes legs

What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing - they've never met.

Maximum speed for blondes

Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Cooling off in milk

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his just-spent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."

Blonde failed driving test

Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Blonde customer

What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)?
"'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Blonde & brunette orgasms

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy

Blonde and a trampoline

What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before using a trampoline

Blonde elevator jobs

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route

Blonde die drinking milk

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her

Blonde foreplay

What is foreplay for a blonde?
Thirty minutes of begging

Blonde in hot tub

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

Blonde in an M&M factory

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proofreading

Blonde skeleton

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
Last years hide and seek winner

Blonde stranded

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Blonde in a porno shop

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comesout and tell him that he has to leave for a while, and "can you handle it?" The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?" He answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black dildo?" He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before..."
She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"
He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."
She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"
He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."
She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before...." She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the saleman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"