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Crying old man
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench
crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old man, "I just got married to a
twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful
breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful
lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful
supper and then we make love." The policeman looks at the old man
and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man
in the world!" So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because
I don't remember where I live!"
Deaf old ladies
Three slightly deaf old ladies walking down the
road: "Windy today."
"No it's Thursday."
"You better come in for a cup of tea then."
Fussing about husbands
Two elderly women were fussing about their
husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his
nails. That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said.
"Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman
commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick."
"What did you do?"
"I hid his teeth!"
Eighty year old has, 20 year
old doesn't
What does a 80 year old
woman have between her breasts that a 20 year old girl doesn't?
Her belly button!
God made me
Grandpa and granddaugher
were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you,
Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes
later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the
little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own
reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running
through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa,"
she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
Old ladies smoking
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when
it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip,
and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good
idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other
lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about
any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local
drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some
condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and
said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a
camel.
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