Home Is Where The Wind Blows

An immortal gem by Mike Varney (17-Apr-2003)

Compactified Dementia - The hierarchy problem of cranks
The hierarchy problem of cranks is an interesting topic. Why are their
arguments so weak compared to the average person?
One answer might be that they reside in their own dimensions, compactified
and placed out of the way somewhere.
Many people think that cranks (crackpots) live in their own universe, a
universe that has nothing to do with our own. However, the Yankovich theory
states that universes cannot interact directly. Since it is empirically
obvious that cranks do in fact interact with our universe, this would mean
that cranks in fact reside somewhere in our universe.
This would mean that crackpots (cranks) live in their own compactified
dementias, with bits of their crankiness "leaking" across to our regular
There are some interesting properties associated with those compactified

1. There are absolute reference frames in Dementia-Space.

This allows such things as faster than light travel, and the Ether.

2. Any GPS device entering such a Dementia is rendered useless.

3. Computer Keyboards have broken shift keys.

4. While communication from Dementia-Space is easy, communication into
Dementia-Space is very difficult. In fact, one could postulate that there
is no information transfer into Dementia-Space. Further tests are needed.

5. Residents of Compactified Dementias are very xenophobic. They think
that occupants of regular space-time are in a vast conspiracy to "Hide the
truth" and "Steal tax payers money".

6. Mathematics in Dementia-Space do not allow proper multiplication of
negative numbers, but seem ideally suited to solve Fermat's last theory.

7. Time does not exist.

8. Clocks are broken.

9. The second law of thermodynamics does not hold in Dementia-Space.

10. Intelligence in Dementia-Space is dictated by the NIT. [1]

11. Diversified population makeup. [2]

This is but a short list.

At this time, very few studies have been made into the fundamental physics
of Compactified Dementias. At this time, most study has been simply to
categorize (and catalog) the crank species that are emitted.
For example, the list compiled by OM [3], while interesting, does not in
fact explain why the interaction length of a crank is so small. Usually,
crank interaction is limited to such an extent that the general population
is rarely aware of cranks.
Cranks have little effect on the physical world, much less any
socio-political clout.

There is a new parameter space to explore when it comes to Compactified

[1] M. Crank, Negative Intelligence, sci.physics, March 3, 2003

[2] www.crank.net

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